by David Thompson

Created on: April 24, 2008

3 Keys to Overcoming the Blues: The Secrets to Emotional Intelligence

It's that time of year again. As winter crawls along toward spring, shorter days and never-ending icy temperatures leave many feeling depressed, lonely and isolated, commonly known as the Winter Blues. But there are ways to beat the blues.
It is common to believe that our emotions are something that happen to us. Situations, circumstances, genetics and even the weather all make us feel a certain way. We are at the mercy of our reactions and there is little we can do to control or influence our emotions. But the latest developments in psychology show that our thoughts play an important role in creating our emotions. If this is the case, then logic dictates that if we change our thoughts, we change our emotions. But can it really be that easy?"

The newest forms of therapy focus on helping us learn to change our thoughts from thoughts that lead to depression, anxiety and guilt etc., to thoughts that produce more pleasant states of mind. As I see in my work with clients every day, we have much more power than we realize to change our emotional and mental states and we can literally do this within seconds.
The blues, sadness, frustration and even "depression" are what are called "states," as are joy, excitement and ecstasy. Most would agree that states like depression and frustration (and everything else we might call "negative emotions") are not the most useful. Your state determines your thinking and you behaviour; I am sure you know that when you are happy you see the world differently than when you are down, and when you are thrilled you behave differently than when you are depressed. We all want to experience more of the good states and less of the bad ones.
Everyone goes into good and bad states. Those who seem to have the most control and spend the majority of their time in what I would call "resourceful" states such as confidence, joy and strength have what we now refer to as Emotional Intelligence. But what is their secret? How do those with Emotional Intelligence feel good when the rest of us tend to feel down and depressed? Ask anyone with a high degree of Emotional Intelligence about it and they will tell you that when they are feeling bad they take responsibility for their emotions and do something to change it almost immediately. They recognize that they have to take action and not allow their emotions to run them. Perhaps it is a skill that they have naturally, but anyone can learn

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