by Lydona Atchley

Created on: April 24, 2008   Last Updated: September 19, 2010

Grand children are a reward to us in our later years and to deny access to them is just plain cruel. Grand parents can give a extra stable environment to the children during the trying times and upheaval of a divorce. Thus helping the children adapt to a new life. taking them away from people who can help them so is crazy.

When a couple can't continue to live together, and have to go their seperate ways, does not mean that their own parents go to. It is imparitive that the grandparents on both sides continue to stay a part of the lives of children. Not allowing the grand parents to be a part of their lives can be not only emotionally damaging, it can cause the children and the grandparents to become physically ill.

What would there be gained for one or both of the children's parents, to exclude the ex spouses parents form their child life. Nothing is gained, it causes resentment between the two divorcing over the mistreatment of their parents. It causes confusion and resentment in the children, they come to feel like pawns in the middle of a desperate situation. One they have no control over.

There should be laws to ensure that grandparents could always be a part of the children's life. Let no one keep them from each other. The only way a grandparent should not be allowed to see a grandchild is if they themselves were a threat to the child's safety or emotional health. If they are abusive or tried to belittle the other parent or grandparents. These are reasons to keep them from the children.

When I divorced in 1980, I had two small daughters 3 and 5, I wanted to keep his parents in their lives. So I decided to make sure they knew, that just because their son and I could not live together anymore , didn't mean they would be excluded from my children. I made sure they were included in every aspect of the lives of their grandchildren. When I remarried I made sure they met the man and gave them time to know him and him them. This way they felt that they were part of this new life to be built for the girls.

Doing so, gave the children extra stability and they were not thrown into a difficult transfer and they had the other people they could count on and be comfortable with. When chikdren are allowed to have all the grandparents in their lives they grow to be happy , healty, productive members of society.

Family structure is not just the parents and children, it's the grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends that the children know and love from both sides of their family. To deny children access to their grandparents is unmistakeably one of the worse things to do them. It is a form of mental and emotional abuse.

We need to think carefully when we make decisions for them, we need to be making them for the best concerns of the children and not ourselves. So many times we say, I am doing this for my child, it's what is best for them. But we are actually doing what we want for our own purpose to get what we want, and wind up hurting our children for our vanity.

Yes grandparents should be able to see their grandchildren even of the parents are divorced or not. We need to remember that grandparents are a wealth of wisdom, information and experience. Helping us in raising up our children, watching them grow is their reward for raising their own children right or wrong, they are a gift from God to enjoy as we age.

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