by Heidi Labron

Created on: April 24, 2008

Are preteens just mini versions of adults these days? It seems that way when you look at the fashions they are wearing in magazines and television. And just try dragging your twelve year old pat the window of a store filled with mannequins showing off the latest skinny jeans or miniskirts! You'll have a hard time convincing her to even look at a pair of jeans that aren't slung below her belly button. So how can you shop with your preteen and go home with everyone happy?

Start with a conversation about what she sees girls wearing on television or in magazines. It is much easier to make some solid remarks about something you'd like her to wear when she's not standing right in front of those $150 pair of joggers. Ask her what she likes about the clothes she sees these young singers and actresses wearing, and ask her what she doesn't like about them as well. Chances are, she doesn't really know what she likes about the clothes, except for the color or the fact that it is a brand name. This will at least start an honest discussion about what is out there and what might or might not be appropriate for her age.

Speaking of age, most preteens will feel older than their years and argue that the clothes she is seeing on Hilary Duff and Miley Cirus are perfectly appropriate for her age. This is a great time to explain that people in the entertainment business get a lot of free clothing, so first of all, they do not have to pay for the expensive names, and secondly, they must dress to set themselves apart. That is the nature of show business, not the 5th grade.

When you finally do set out with your preteen to shop, set up a budget ahead of time and make sure she understands that you will not be spending outside of that budget. A stiff lesson can be made if you set a limit at, say, $300 for an entire new school wardrobe, and she wants to spend it all on a pair of expensive jeans, a coat that certainly wont get her through the winter and a single pair of shoes. If that's all she'll have to wear all year, it might make her crazy, but be sure that the next time, she'll be a little thriftier when picking her items.

How can you get your daughter to ignore those name brands that all of her friends just "have" to have? Why not encourage her to be an individual. Show her that it is more fun to be a fashion trend setter than to follow the crowd. Maybe girls will want to copy what SHE wears if she buys something affordable, but wears it in a new way. After all, you can put up with your child experimenting with fashion if it doesn't cost you a month's salary.

What about consignment shops? You can find a lot of great clothes that have hardly been used at these stores. You just have to use the right terms to get her there. Vintage, vintage, vintage! Maybe she'll be inspired to shop for "vintage" items to fill out a wardrobe that might be a bit more conventional. You can do wonders with a pair of jeans and a cool shirt from a great consignment shop.

You might not be able to encourage your daughter to stop wanting those jeans that sit so low on her hips that they might as well be around her knees. But, you should be able to steer her in the right direction with a bit of concerned parenting and guidance. Give her some freedom to choose...just make sure she understands that if it isn't appropriate, you won't be buying it. And stick with it. Kids learn from what they see, so if you set a good shopping example, she'll be more likely to do what she sees.

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