by Colette Duval

Created on: April 24, 2008   Last Updated: May 26, 2011

I grew up listening to a grandfather who was very much into promoting discipline and rules! This probably stemmed from having been in the Army, but his rantings and demonstratively pointed fingers backfired on me. For many years - well into chronological adulthood, I resented all forms of discipline and rules.

When I say 'chronological adulthood', I mean that one aspect of truly growing up is to realize that, actually, rules are not so bad. In fact, rules are not only necessary to keep society and all its various members functioning as a group, they are actually beneficial to individuals for psychological reasons!

The idea of a society in which everyone can do what pleases him or her is nice. And perhaps if everyone had an inherent sense of right and wrong, ethics and morality, it might even be possible to live without many of the rules which apply. And of course, modern societies currently do go overboard on ruling. Its often a case of making rules for the sake of it simply because one can. Committees, management groups, government parties - everyone seems keen on creating new rules and regulations on any issue, as minor as it may be. Currently there is a wave of ridiculous, sometimes localized rules, which can verge on the ridiculous. For instance: A local council in the UK has prohibited that children be helped, i.e. lifted, on to a bus because the handling by an adult could be construed (who by?) as inappropriate touching.

There are distinctions to be made between rules which provide security, fairness and safety for all, and those rules which impinge on personal and private matters (rules on private sexual behaviour is among those), and rules which are made out of bureaucratic obsession or as an overreactive response to public hysteria. (Political correctness/child protection issues are two such examples of areas where regulations have a tendency to become farce.)

The line between private lives and public lives are often blurred, and at times merge seamlessly. This is why it is not always clear at which point rules become superfluous and where they are necessary . Simply speaking, rules should, first and foremost, be able to prevent - prevent exploitation, harm, hurt, and injustice. Secondly they should enable - enable equal opportunity, advocacy, justice, and protection. Any other rules can be considered on an individual, case-by-case basis, but are more likely to be the work of over eager minds with an inflated self image.

The last point I would like to make is that 'positive' rules (those which enhance life) are beneficial psychologically in terms of boundaries and structure they create. This begins at the individual level and begins at a young age. Boundaries provide a great sense of security, and while freedom at times may be limited, without boundaries - self-imposed or not - one can easily get 'lost'.

My grandfather would say, "See, I told you so!" And I have to admit, discipline and rules occasionally have their merits!

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