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Humor: Things that go bump in the night

by Sondra Deuber

Created on: April 24, 2008   Last Updated: April 29, 2008

The new apartment that a friend arranged for me was beautiful. Not practical, but otherwise, absolutely perfect. It was built on land that once held a near-downtown motel and was part of a revitalization, the goal of which was to provide an artists' community close to where most of the galleries are.

It had 10' ceilings, huge windows with excellent light, almost 1,000 sq. ft., track lighting in the living room, exposed pipes/ducts and recessed lighting in the kitchen and an interesting layout. The floors were my favorite feature: they looked like they were taken directly from an old New York warehouse artist's studio: concrete, with paint can stains, construction markings in what looked like wax pencil, rust stains... character, lots of character. The best part for an artist: you could work in any medium without worrying about getting paint on the floor.

The impractical part: a brand-spanking new apartment designed by an artist who also happens to be a developer. No dishwasher. No broom closet (or even anything that could pass for one). Kitchen cupboards that were obviously designed by someone who has never set foot in a kitchen in his life, not even to make a sandwich.

The upstairs apartments had lovely wood floors. Unfortunately, they didn't bother with any soundproofing. There was a very nice young couple living upstairs. Nuff said.

The location was interesting. The building was a short eight blocks from the heart of downtown, very convenient if you spend a lot of time downtown. But most of the heart of this city rolls up its sidewalks the moment the people who work there go home for the night. When I was growing up, it was where everything was happening all the time. Now everything that happens takes place in a whole gaggle of shopping malls as far from downtown as you can get and still be in the city limits.

There are a few exceptions. When I was growing up there 50 years ago, we used to go to the Rainbow Ballroom frequently. It was where all the rock concerts happened, and we didn't miss many of them. My new apartment was a half block away. There are still concerts there, but now it's all Hispanic music. A new generation of enthusiastic concert goers assembles almost every weekend to party. The concerts didn't bother me, since the Rainbow is an inside venue.

The neighborhood is largely light industrial. The view from my bedroom and living room: an AC Delco distribution center to the west and another similar outfit to the east. To the north, an auto body repair

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