by Cypress Riel

Created on: April 23, 2008

What is love all about? Simply put, it is about becoming a better human in yourself and for humanity.

Love is an elusive feeling for many people, they yearn for and are on a mad search for " IT". Really, what is IT and can every man, woman, and child have it?

The answer in theory is yes. The truth is though, and all we have to do is look at the divorce rate that has steadily climbed since the 60's, to know love has not been found. Why?

For me personally, I was abused both physically and sexually. I watched my father beat my mother and all of us children and I thought in order to love someone you had to show that love in beatings, violence and control. It was very logical to me, to marry a violent man, it was normal.

I felt love for the very first time when my first child was born. So powerful was this emotion that it scared me and I could not allow myself the full experience of that love. Even when my second child was born,I could not do..Love. I even told myself to not let go and risk what love is. Love equaled huge fear and I couldn't, wouldn't ever feel safe enough to be vulnerable to, it.

When I was a young girl, I had made a vow to never, ever love another person. My home life was so dysfunctional that I did not think I would believe in love, or people.

I wandered for years in the desert, if you will, thinking " Is this all there is to life?".

One must understand that I lived far from the good path, and mental illness in the form of depression was a part of my existence. Self-love? Never even heard of it.

Then, in my late twenties a voice inside me , that I now know to be the voice of Soul or Great Spirit said " Something is missing from my life...I have to find it." At first the voice inside just niggled at my spirit, I still wasn't doing anything about it. This went on for about 5 years and the yearning to find the missing piece that I still didn't know was missing , got louder. And stronger!

I moved away from my hometown to a place on Vancouver Island. A island of breathtaking beauty.

The energy of the island is very spiritual and healing. If you have ever heard of Tofino you will know what I mean. The Pacific ocean's huge waves rolling in on a foggy morning , while eagles call to another is a balm for the soul.

I still didn't know what I was looking for, but, it was getting stronger. I was in a very violent marriage and was extremely unhappy. And very depressed, I was on auto pilot..doing what needed to be done. I was merely, surviving.

The day I got

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