by Cynthia Winograd Spritzer

Created on: April 23, 2008   Last Updated: April 29, 2008

LIVING WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER

David was my second husband. My love for him was unconditional. He was divorced with three children. I was widowed with three children.

Early on in our marriage we sought marriage counseling. There were a number of therapists that we saw throughout the years. My husband knew how to manipulate the male therapists. Not once was he asked about his background (uncle manic depressive, mother bipolar and suicidal).The following symptoms were a part of our lives.

He could work hours without needing sleep
Or he could sleep for hours
He was at times restless
He spoke very loudly
He was often hostile
His judgment was often impaired
He could be impulsive
Had a lack of insight
He was extravagant and never made a good financial decision.
His thinking was at times disjointed
He had delusions
He was a risk taker
He was sexually inappropriate

I was an on call guard shielding inappropriate behavior. Our lives were filled with electric storms. He lost jobs but acted self-importantly. I wanted to give up on our marriage, but caring and shame held me back. About 14 years into our marriage David had been fired from yet another job and was suing for "breech of contract" which ultimately led him into bankruptcy. This time I was going to throw my hands up.

However, I had found a DSM manual, published by The American Psychiatric Association. A handbook used by professionals for diagnoses. I came upon the manual accidentally and poured through the pages. I stopped at bipolar. disease. My faith in therapists had vanished years ago. However, after making my own diagnosis, I decided to give it one last try. I called our family doctor for yet another referral. I called the psychiatrist told him that I thought my husband was bipolar and would he see us for a diagnoses. He saw me and listened, then David, then both of us and diagnosed David as manic bipolar. Took blood tests. Started lithium and life began again.

David was grateful and thanked me for giving his life back to him.
The following are tips on how we both lived our lives together after diagnosis

charting medication carefully and taking them exactly as prescribed
Seeing psychiatrist at intervals, blood tests to check medication
we read whatever we could together about being bipolar
we told our children what was happening
we kept a mood swing chart and knew the seasons when he became manic
David exercised regularly
We avoided caffeine, sugar, and salted foods
David kept a journal, which I still have, in which he wondered why it had taken so long to diagnose.

There are not enough words to describe the damage this illness has done to a family of eight. He has since died of multiple myeloma. However, there are not enough words to describe how grateful we were for the last of our days.

If you have any concerns, don't wait, run to a medical provider you trust.

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