by Rick Garrett

Created on: December 12, 2006   Last Updated: April 19, 2007

I Just Want to Buy a Phone! Is That so Hard to Understand?

Some of you might recall the untimely death of my cell phone a few days back. I was hoping it would come back to life, but, after the 3rd day, it showed no hope of rising again, so off I go to find a new phone.

WARNING>>>>RANT AHEAD.

I've come to realize I'm hard on phones. I drop them, lose them, sit on them, knock them off of my belt loop. I catch them on the arm of my desk chair, all kinds of things.

And, I'm an old fashioned guy. If I want an MP3 player, I'll go buy one. Ditto for the camera. I keep notes on paper, not in a PDA. I keep them on paper and cram them in my wallet or desk drawer or tuck them in my sun visor, where, 3 or 4 years later, I'll find them. By then it doesn't matter anymore anyway!

But I digress. What am I looking for in a phone? I like my phones like I like my women....cheap and easy. (Ladies...it's a JOKE!)

What I am looking for in a phone, is I want to:
1)Make Phone Calls
2)Get Phone Calls.

That's it. I don't want to take anyones picture, I don't want to be able to leave myself voice memo's, I don't want a GPS, And I sure don't want blue teeth! Why is everyone at these phone stores thinking I want a Blue Tooth? A silver...no, a gold tooth might be kinda flashy once in a while, but a BLUE tooth? No, thank you.
And, those wireless things people are wearing in their ears these days? Why the HELL do I want to walk around looking somewhat like Seven of Nine? I don't want to be assimilated with my phone, for cripes sake.
SO, I go to these "Technology Centers" Cripes, aren't there any freakin PHONE STORES anymore.......and when I say I want to buy "just a basic phone", they look at me like I'm an Andorian, or, worse yet, a Wookie.
And, these kids JUST WON'T FREAKING LISTEN. I tell them what I want, and IMMEDIATELY they pull out the latest bell and whistle filled phone. I swear, I was ready to grab this snot nosed youngster by the lapels and drag him over the counter and say "I WANT A BASIC PHONE OR YOUR LIFE".
Well, long story short, I FINALLY found a basic phone. It's a Samsung something or other that lets me
1)Make phone calls
2)Get phone calls.

There, was that so hard?

Well, yes it was. Gas over $2.00 a gallon and I'm in near tears just trying to find a stupid, basic phone.

But I'm happy with it. Because, today, I
1)Made a phone call
2)Received a phone call.

It also comes with voice mail........but I'm not ready to tackle that yet.

Have a good day, y'all.

Now, if I just had someone to call!

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