When I first read the title for this piece, I wondered why the bananas anyone would desire any information on what it means to be highly gifted. I mean, we can all imagine it fairly easily, can't we? What it means to be gifted: to take it easy, reap in the rewards, and have all the good things in life come to you.

This is, of course, a highly skewed view of the highly gifted by someone who is more modestly gifted... modest in the way that a bicycle is, compared to an elite racing car. In other words, my knee-jerk reaction comes from jealousy. The highly gifted are people, with the same woes and fears as the rest of us - but what does it mean to them to have their immense gifts?

According to Oliver James (don't reverse that name, it gets confusing), the life of the highly gifted involves more angst than the average Joe or Joanne, with the level of angst increasing in accordance to the level of their apparent gifts. The reason for this is the very reason behind their 'gifts': they are driven to be high achievers because of an inner sense of worthlessness, which drives them to achieve greater and greater goals yet leaves them unsatisfied with what they have.

Not all of those who are highly gifted suffer this endless cycle of low self-esteem, but the life of a gifted person holds many stresses and disappointments if too much emphasis is placed on their gifts. The most visible example of this is when the person is gifted with physical attractiveness. (Although this example does delve into an area which is a bit subjective, I think it's the easiest path for my point.) If the person chooses to make use of their gift (which is never certain) they are under constant pressure to maintain their standard. The Beautiful People of the world are under constant pressure to hold back time, keep up with trends and set a good example for mere mortals. Competition means that their place among those considered gifted is under constant threat. If someone new and more interesting comes along, they may lose the one thing that defines them, as someone slightly gifted is nothing in comparison to the highs to which they are accustomed.

I have sketched out two grim scenarios for the highly gifted, not entirely without my tongue in cheek, but this is because of the serious nature of the question. To name someone as highly gifted is to place them in a difficult position, one which they may not have wanted or been prepared for. The term 'gifted' is like any compliment in that it is subjective and can easily be wrongly applied. The highly gifted operate like the rest of humanity: they put their underwear on one leg at a time, thrive under support and benefit from dumb luck.

*Oliver James, 'They F* You Up: How to Survive Family Life', 2002, Bloomsbury.

Learn more about this author, Clare Callow.
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