by Claudia Tietze

Created on: April 23, 2008

Hopefully your partner and you share some semblance of open honesty. If so, that makes broaching sexual fantasies much easier, especially if you have never discussed it before. Always reassure your partner that you find them attractive and sexually appealing. You never want your partner to feel that you need a fantasy because they are boring in bed or have gained a few happiness pounds. Also, remember if you ask for participation in your fantasy, then be prepared to participate in your partners' fantasy as well. It means you take a risk, but they are taking a risk for you as well. Here are few tips to "break the ice":

1. Rent a video that portrays your fantasy. It does not have to be sexual in nature. If you want to be a patient, and your partner a nurse, watch E.R. together. Then just smile and mention that would be a fun sexual fantasy. It works.

2. Initiate a game of Truth or Dare. Enough said. Just hope they pick dare at some point.

3. Bring it up in an appropriate place with privacy. Make sure if you have not indulged in sexual fantasies together before, that you reassure your partner of your love and that you find them sexually appealing before mentioning your fantasy. You can always bring up your fantasy as a "wouldn't it be fun to..." scenario.

4. Ask your partner what their fantasies are. After all, we all have them. They can be simple, like making love to a movie star or in a public place. They can also be complex. Be aware that their fantasy may be something you find distasteful, but fair is fair. If you get, you should be willing to give as well.

5. Stop taking yourself so serious! If your fantasy is something simple, like making love in a certain place, take your partner to a similar place. Mention you have always wanted to have sex there.

6. If you watch racy movies or pornography together, be sure to get something that shows your fantasy next time. Ask if they think it is hot or not. This works well if you are really nervous or afraid to bring up the subject bluntly. Or, you can always tell your partner you think this would be a great thing for the two of you to try.

7. Laugh. Don't demand. Be open. Be honest.

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