by Elizabeth Bridgette

Created on: April 23, 2008

Yelling, I remember yelling.
Voices in the tiny apartment.
Stop it! Stop it! The walls can't take it! I agonized in my head.
Hands on ears, feeling the reverberations crashing through my skull.
Setting my heart and brain on fire.
When will the yelling stop.
Then suddenly the talking.
Speaking as if I didn't exist.
"I'm right here!" I wanted to say.
Then the silence. Almost worse.
Yelling is active. I know what is happening.
Silence equals action. What will be destroyed?
Then the crying. Loud sobs.
My father hunched over. Defeated.
I peak from my cubby. Is it safe to come out?
I don't exist during the yelling.
Then the remembering that I am here.
Forced hugs. "Everything is fine," is the lie I am told.
Empty. Fear. Afraid of the yelling.
I escape to my room. If I can only make it to the door.
Unnoticed. Then free.
Outside at last I watch. Holding vigil on the door.
Will he come out? Out to escape the anger?
Relief.
He is here and we can ride away.

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