by Tanya Clark

Created on: April 23, 2008

Ahh, the lost art of child manners. Every child needs to use their manners everywhere they go. Not only is it a direct reflection on you as a parent, it's a necessity in their lives and will remain so forever. If you neglect to teach your child good manners, I feel, it's the same as neglecting to teach them to sing their ABC's.

The most obvious approach to teaching a child to use good manners is to lead by example. You go to the store and get your change from the cashier and you say "thank you". You ask someone to pass you the salt at the dinner table and you say "please" and "thank you". It's as simple as that! Children are little sponges. They pick up on everything and if you're using good manners, your child will do the same.

Parents must also use consistency. That's a golden rule in all aspects of parenting. This is no exception. Each time your child asks for something, you insist they say please and thank you. If you neglect that, your child is going to neglect their manners.

Going in to public with a child is almost always an adventure. Strange adults are always gawking at them and making them feel uncomfortable by asking silly questions like "aren't you adorable" or "is this your little brother". You know that your poor kid is thinking in their little minds "this person is insane!" Regardless, they are put on display and they know it. It's super important to ensure that your child uses manners with these strange adults. I'll give you an example. My three year old daughter has a very strange phobia of the WalMart greeter who offers those ugly yellow smiley face stickers. Each time the greeter offers a sticker, she wants to crawl in between my legs...and each time I have to remind her to tell the person no thank you. It's awkward for all three of us, but it's something I absolutely have to do every single time until the day comes that she politely turns that stupid sticker down.

What parents often forget is that their child should be rewarded for their good manners. While it's important to correct your child or reminding them to use their manners, it's more effective to reward children for good behavior than it is to discipline them for bad behavior. If you don't believe that, give it an honest effort for an entire day and I guarantee you'll have a completely different child on your hands! The next time your child tells you thank you without being reminded, tell her that you're proud of that behavior...note how many more times you hear it that day!

The effort you put in to teaching manners is obvious and the choice is yours to make it a priority or not. But, parenting has become a competition. You're mistaken if you think that your "work" isn't being judged by someone at one point or another.

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