When I found out I was pregnant, one of the first things I did was find a doctor. I found at at which hospitals she had privileges and went for an unannounced visit. The first hospital said they didn't do tours. The second hospital showed me everything, even an in-use labor and delivery room. That was an accident and an empty labor and delivery room was shown to me. The nurse took me into a little room with Winnie-the-Pooh everywhere. She asked if I had any questions. The first question out of my mouth (I still don't know why it was this question) was "Are those childbirth classes really worth it?" Her answered surprised me. "Absolutely not. Talk to your doctor. Talk to me. Talk to your mom. Save your money and buy maternity clothes or the baby some little sleepers." She went on to explain to me why the classes were unnecessary.
She explained that every birth was different. One class, even if lasted for 20 years, could not cover all the different scenarios that could play out. Not only was every birth different, every woman handled it differently. "They will show you the tape of a birth and scare you to death. The woman is screaming her head off, calling her husband every name in the book." She laughed. "What they don't show you is that she screamed even more when her husband took the splinter out of her finger." That made sense to me. I had always wondered about that and I didn't have to wonder anymore. Pain tolerance is variable between people. I had never thought of it that way when it came to childbirth.
She explained that different doctors had different ways of doing things. I found out that the doctor I had dismissed the nurses from the room as soon as the baby was born and she assessed the baby to be fine. "She believes that you and her have developed a bond," the nurse said. "The nurses are strangers to you. More than likely you want to have someone there you trust to help you or answer any questions you have. I've assisted her many times and she is more than qualified." I knew I liked my doctor the moment I spoke to her the first time. Now I knew I liked her even more. She would be taking care of me and my baby before it got here and her taking care of it during the first minutes of life outside the womb would be nice.
The nurse explained the concept of a "birth plan." She told me to talk to my doctor. "She [my doctor] will know if she suspects any complications during labor and delivery. If there is, she will have the plan. If all looks normal, then she will put your plan into action." I took notes on this "birth plan" idea. Even so early in my pregnancy, I wanted to nurse my baby as soon as possible. The nurse told me to put that in the plan. She told me if I wanted to use the nursery or the "room-in" option, that should be included in my plan. She gave me all sorts ideas to consider when making my plan. I wrote them all down.
She answered all my questions without acting put out or as if I was wasting her time. She smile and laughed as she explained things; letting me know things should be just fine. I felt so much peace and joy. She had even managed to convince me I could give birth without any complications. This was my biggest worry; I'm a short, thin waif of a woman and I never thought I could do it.
She gave me so much information, my head was swimming. Perhaps the best thing she gave me was her telephone numbers, both at work and her cellular number. "Call me anytime. I'm a labor and delivery nurse and a pediatric nurse," she explained. "I'm always on call, even when my work schedule says I'm not. When my patients need me, I'm there. I consider you a patient." I knew I liked this hospital when they opened the doors to the maternity ward to me. After she said "I'm there," I knew I loved it.
I didn't take the class. I didn't need it. I talked to my doctor. I talked to my mom. I talked to friends who had been through it. And, yes, I called the kind, understanding nurse on her cell phone on more than one occasion. All I had to do was tell her my name and she knew who I was; always ready to answer any question I had.
How did my daughter's birth go? It was fun. My husband, my mom, my doctor and my new nurse friend was there (she happened to be on duty that day). We all laughed through it, making jokes as we waited for my daughter to finally arrive. As much as I love every person that was in the room that day, there is one other person I love just as much, that helped make my labor and delivery so wonderful. I don't know his name; I just call him "My Epidural Man."