by Jeff Tompkins

Created on: April 21, 2008   Last Updated: September 03, 2011

For the last five days I have been following the presidential candidates as they hit the campaign trail in New Hampshire. There are lots of candidates, countless campaign stops, the weather is cold and there's a ton of snow on the ground. The candidates and the press corps are exhausted from the arduous schedule. But all of that is irrelevant because I am covering the New Hampshire primary from a recliner in my den. Here's what I've learned:

The Republicans held a debate Sunday night in which many "barbs" were exchanged. Just when one candidate got in a barb against another candidate, a completely different barb would strike him. One of the barbs was set so deep that Mitt Romney is still unable to sit down without wincing. Thankfully for the nation, his hair is still perfectly styled.

They argued about taxes quite a bit. John McCain said he had never voted for a tax increase, but several of the other candidates pointed out that he voted against the Bush tax cuts. McCain smiled and said he loves America, so he won that battle. Mitt Romney accused Mike Huckabee of raising taxes by $500 million when he was governor of Arkansas, to which Huckabee responded, "Nuh-uh," and Mitt said, "Yuh-huh," and Huckabee said, "Nuh-uh," and Mitt, attempting to elevate the debate, said, "YOU DID TOO!" and Huckabee said, "DID NOT!" This went on for several minutes. Fred Thompson slept through the entire exchange. Rudy Giuliani sat at the end of the table trying to figure out how to work 9/11 into the discussion.

The Democrats debated over the weekend, and the big news out of that debate is that (1) John Edwards still trails Mitt Romney in the "Best Hair" category; (2) Hillary Clinton is for change, which is not as important as experience, unless you think it is, in which case she agrees with you, for now; (3) Oprah Winfrey is still backing Barack Obama and is considering adopting him and changing his name to Barack Oprahbama; (4) Bill Richardson and Fred Thompson are locked in a tight race to see who can stay awake the longest, and it looks like Richardson may edge out Thompson based on the fact that Richardson is kept awake by people asking him if he is really Horatio Sanz from Saturday Night Live.

John McCain, during an appearance on Meet The Press, told Tim Russert that Americans would be willing to keep troops in Iraq for (and this is an exact true quote) "ten thousand years." I have no punch line here because, well, do I really need one?

Mike Huckabee, in a speech delivered

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