I can speak from personal experience on this issue. I was fired last year from my job for, I'm sure, a number of reasons. I am still attempting to grapple with the possible reasons and figure out how I might avoid this happening again in the future.
When someone is fired, it is a shocking feeling. Suddenly, you are outside the day-to-day structure of modern life. You go to the bank, the grocery store, and on other errands, and you find yourself realizing everyone seems to have a job but you. This is a very disconcerting experience.
Depending on your general attitude toward life and toward society, you will surely react different ways. For many of us, the loss of a job and the ensuing search for a new one mirrors the grief process quite well.
The first stage many suddenly unemployed people go through is that of being shocked and in denial. Naturally one knows he or she is out of a job, but the situation may seem somewhat unreal. This can also be a defense mechanism used by those of us who have difficulty dealing with change or loss at any level. For the first few weeks after being fired, I was subconsciously laboring under the delusion that I was merely on vacation.
When the gravity of the situation finally did hit me, I became overwhelmed with asking "why me". This is consistent with the second phase of the grief process. The individual may start to question his or her worth, as well as his or her ability to function well in the workplace. During this phase, I sought out psychologists, and was constantly saying "well, everyone was against me and wanted me to get fired". The psychologist tried to help me modify my thinking, and thus my behavior in the future, by telling me that such generalizations on my part were unrealistic and unhealthy. He tried to walk me through the reality of what I may have actually done to be fired, and get my mind away from feeling like a hopeless victim.
A third stage that is associated with the grief process is that of becoming depressed and withdrawn. The individual is no longer asking "why why why" like a nagging toddler, but he or she may feel even more socially inadequate and unworthy of attention. So much emphasis is given in our culture on what an individual does for work, that some people who have been in a specific occupation for years may feel they have actually lost their identity. Further, the person may feel that it will be difficult to get a new job: How will they spin or mask their firing during their next job interview? It is not uncommon for people to go on anti-depressants for a short period during this stage. Many can help individuals think things out more rationally without wallowing so much in personal emotion and doubt. Some medications can help control the symptoms of anxiety a person may experience when thinking about, and applying for, future positions.
The fourth stage of grief is basically to get over it. You accept the situation, put your efforts to work in finding a solution, and act on your plan. This is easier said than done for some people. There are many factors to consider, such as, will you make a career change? Will you work in a different environment?
I've come to see my behavior at my previous job as a symptom of my overall anxiety in the workplace. I simply couldn't be comfortable being around the same people day after day, because I was bored at my job and considered myself smarter than my co-workers. These thoughts led to behavior that offended everyone, whether I realized it or not. I am still grappling with this theory, which others have told me is the case. I can see how it is a realistic one, and it makes more sense than any others I can provide. But the urge to play victim is still quite tempting. This attitude allows me to have some self-pity, and to delay the inevitable process of thinking about how I might adapt my behavior in the future. My behavior, in my eyes, was quite rational. I am told I would benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy for this reason. I am told I am quite stubborn and unable to see my own flaws. Losing my job has for these reasons become a very difficult experience. I have still not moved on to stage four, because I have yet to understand how to change my behavior.