by Dave Kemp

Created on: April 21, 2008

Love as it exists on its own is a fascinating thing. I have never really found proper words to describe it. It is a deep and defining presence that is never absent. Even when we are fighting, it only hurts more because we are in love.

I know that when I was young and had crushes on young ladies, I felt something powerful, but deep down, I also knew this was not love. For many years, I looked for a soul-mate that I could fall in love with, but as many girls as I met and dated, I could never seem to find the one that made me feel in my gut that she was the one.

I did have a close call once. I definitely felt some love for a young woman that met all of my desires physically that I ever looked for in a woman. However, emotionally we were miles apart. It took quite awhile for her to realize that it would never work, and it took me much longer. She finally left me and it was at least a couple of years before I realized it was for the best.

The lessons I learned from that experience, however, were invaluable in helping me to recognize the real match when the time came along. When I fell in love with the woman who became my wife, it was a gradual and quite undefinable thing that happened to each of us. We noticed each other, but didn't really know if we were truly attracted to each other or not.

Then, one day, I saw something about her that I had never noticed before. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and she had been right in front of my face for several months. She did not recognize this at exactly the same time, but it seemed as though she was inexplicably drawn to me at right around the same time.

Regardless of the beauty I could see, there was something about her that hit me down deep inside that I couldn't understand, explain, or even deal with at the time. By the time we started actually dating, the thought of losing her was physically painful to me. By our second week together, she seemed to be feeling the same thing. It was really strange and wonderful to know that after years of actively seeking my life's partner, she just happened to be there one day without much effort from me at all.

What strange and wonderful coincidences came together to make this finally happen? After 21 years, I still can't explain it. Any number of things could have prevented us from finding each other, but they didn't.

Do I believe that I might have met someone else that I felt the same way about? I believe it is possible, but, since I had been dating and looking and meeting potential partners for over 10 years prior to that time, I don't really know the answer to that.

I do know that the feeling down in my guts is still there. When things have happened over the years to threaten our partnership, it always feels like I have been hit deep inside. That kind of feeling is not something you find with just anyone.

The only people I know of that can elicit even a similar response in me are our children and my parents. Those feelings are just as inexplicable, but are defined by blood relation. That is the wonderful and beautiful thing about being in love with my wife. She is the only non-blood relation that has had that effect on me. That is what makes our love so special.

It does explain the phenomenon of older couples that seem to be made for each other. When one of them dies, sometimes the other dies within hours or days. Doctors usually have no physical explanation for this other than that they could not imagine living without each other. That is a special kind of love. That is the kind of love I believe most of us spend out lives trying to find. I hope that most of us do.

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