by Jayne Bonilla

Created on: April 21, 2008

I went to the party feeling excited
There were popular kids and I was invited
Surrounded by those whose lives seemed so full
Friendships I'd hoped for- so desirable

I danced with a guy and my heart skipped a beat
he was gorgeous and actually said I was sweet
he said he had liked me but lacked having guts
afraid I'd reject him, I said he was nuts

he then grabbed my hand and led me upstairs

I'll never forget the envious glares
I felt special and lucky that he'd chosen me
out of all of the girls at this awesome party

we entered the bedroom and he gave me a beer
I said "I don't drink" but he seemed not to hear
he offered me pot and said "here, have a toke"
I told him as well that I didn't smoke

He seemed disappointed, pissed and annoyed
he threw himself on me, I moved to avoid
he called me a tease, a loser, a waste
he ran out of the room in his anger and haste

What was I thinking, could I be that naive
Hoping he liked me, did I actually believe
Did I want it that badly, could I be that lonely
A mistaken identity I nearly let own me

I looked in the mirror at the tears on my face
feeling embarrassed and like a disgrace
thinking I envied the life of the "in" crowd
expected to compromise what makes me proud

I walked out the front door and as soon as I left
I realized so many have identity theft
Afraid to be true to themselves by far
In fear they won't be liked for who they are

The party was over for me and I knew
I left as I came, but actually I grew
I stopped envying others and started feeling pride
For the new self respect that was growing inside

Learn more about this author, Jayne Bonilla.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.