by Richard Probert

Created on: April 21, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Dear karaoke diary

It's been several months since my last on stage appearance and the pressure to return is slowly growing. I would be lying if I was to say I didn't miss my adoring fans, the illuminated screens of quality lyrics(with the terrible 80's style videos behind them),the smell of stale alcohol on the shorting microphone as the music is once again drowned out by the feedback as I step too close to the beloved speakers. But that's all in the past now.

I think it became apparent that I had a problem when I noticed that I had been writing lists of songs (In singing order) to perform at my next outing to the local karaoke joint. It seemed rational at the time for me to be prepared, after all I was a boy scout and "be prepared" was one of our finest mottos. I would usually start with a rendition of Robbie Williams' hit "Angels" and then swiftly on to George Michaels' "Faith" before venturing into a duet with a lady friend of mine. Usually performing "summer days" from the motion picture "Grease" to huge applause from the crowd (at the time there seemed to be hundreds)

Eventually I was "attempting anything from Metallica's "sandman" to Oasis's "wonder wall" and feeling like a real rock god on stage. In my mind I pictured the day U2's music producer just happened to walk into my dingy little side street drinking hole and spot the next bono standing on stage singing born on the bayou by CCR. It haunted me that any night I might miss may be THE night I would at last shed my human disguise and step into my rightful place as living legend. I dreamt about it whilst asleep and awake, I sang proudly in the morning shower and lifted my voice in song whenever I stepped into the noisy cold room at work. I knew without a doubt that I could sing! It was months of religiously attending karaoke and lifting my exceptional voice in song to realize it was all becoming an obsession.

I think in many ways karaoke helped to find the person I am today. It was a way to express myself and be accepted by like minded people who have the decency or maybe just don't have the guts (well in either case) to criticize you and tear you back down to earth. It built up our dreams and for those few minutes on stage you felt like everything was going to be alright and that life wasn't so bad after all. You felt special.

Being older and looking back, it all feels a bit silly. The pipe dreams of being a star, the temporary bliss of singing from the bottom of your lungs, the sweat pouring down your face and into your eyes as you reach the high notes and the pure sweet adoration of my fans as I finish off "Faith" with a toss of my head and a wink to the prettiest girl in the audience.

It's been several months and I'm still an addict

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