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When we communicate with people, it is our intention to get across what needs to be said and be understood by the other person. When we have communicated effectively, events work like clock work and we are happy.

It is only when we have issues communicating with people and when we find that we are unable to have an agreement after much discussion; we know that we have not been effective in our communication as both parties have not been effective in getting through with the understanding of what has been conveyed. When we are faced with such situations, we feel frustrated and hence our degree of happiness drops down a notch on the happiness scale.

We want to have a simple process to ensure that what we want to convey across to another person is easily comprehensible every time we communicate.
The art of communication can be break down into a few simple steps.

1. Ask about the person's view on the subject
2. Listen to what the person has to say and note the contents whether it is in alignment
with what we want to communicate. If it is not in alignment, we want to know where the differences are
3. Address the differences and if there are difficulties, acknowledge the difficulties and check the best way to move forward with constructive ideas
4. Ask questions and repeat what has been said to establish a common understanding
5. The ability to reach an understanding is the ability to communicate with another person

People are classified as negative when we listen to what they say and immediately compartmentalize them as negative and we have just shut the door in communication. We need to understand what we need to communicate across and why it is important to do so. When we can establish the benefits for the person to understand what we need to communicate across, we have completed the task we set for ourselves and we have shown the other person why it is important to understand what has been communicated and how it benefits them to do so.

When we are aware that sometimes people do not speak up or do not want to listen is because these people have some negative issues previously. What would be helpful is to understand what the issues the person has and then we can move forward with what needs to be communicated to them. We all live in a world where we have different experiences and how we perceive the situation is different from another. When we are aware of this difference, we know our task is made simpler as we know that each and everyone of us is different and we show tolerance in our understanding and when we do that, we communicate better. In turn, we know that we have done our best in communicating to the other person and that is all it takes to do so.

Learn more about this author, Helen Tay.
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