by Gail Kavanagh

Created on: April 21, 2008

You can learn a lot from embarrassing kitchen accidents. Take my first attempt at making toffee, for example. I learned three very important lessons from that.

My toffee making venture occurred on one of the rare occasions I had the kitchen to myself. Both parents were visiting next door and I thought some toffee would help me concentrate on homework.

My mother - perhaps understandably in the circumstances - was not too keen on letting me loose in her tidy kitchen. She was not a very enthusiastic cook, and so had never taught me anything about cooking. She figured anyone could learn to use a can opener if they were hungry.

But I wanted more than that - on this occasion, I wanted toffee. So I dug out a recipe and a saucepan, and got to work.

I followed the recipe very loosely, measuring out the sugar, the water, and the vinegar - I thought this last was a bit odd but the recipe assured me it was essential. Then I put the toffee on to boil and glanced back at the recipe.

Have a candy thermometer handy, it said. I dived into the cupboards and drawers, but nowhere could I locate such an object. Even if we had one, I wouldn't have known what it looked like or how to use it.

By now the toffee was turning deep brown and smelling slightly burnt, so I figured it was done and took the pan off the heat. I set it down on the draining board - at least I was smart enough to know that a hot pan would not improve the appearance of my mother's precious Formica - and stuck a spoon in it to stir it.

Disaster! It got stuck, and no matter how I tried, it wouldn't budge as the toffee hardened around it. Now I had an impressive sculpture, but still no edible tofee. I got a knife and tried chipping the stuff away but it was as hard as glass.

With the toffee firmly stuck in the pan, I decided the best thing would be to forgo my treat and clean the pan instead. After all, my mother would not be too happy to find toffee stuck in it. So I shoved it under the tap and filled it with water. One tip I had picked up was that you soak pans before you wash them up.

However, all that happened was the water floated on top of the toffee. I tried hot water and detergent, but nothing worked. The toffee remained hard and the spoon remained stuck in it, like Excalibur in the stone. I was not King Arthur, and only Merlin could help me now.

I debated whether to own up to the ruination of a perfectly good saucepan and spoon, or hide the evidence. Basely, I took the coward's way out. I buried the incriminating saucepan and its contents in the back yard.

I had a vague hope my mother wouldn't notice its disappearance, but that was not to be. However, what happened next escalated the whole incident out of the ball park.

My father, a mechanic, often rummaged in the house to find old tins to store nuts and bolts. On this occasion, he was blamed for using the saucepan for this fell purpose. There was no way out. I had to own up.

My father thought the whole thing so hilarious he didn't stop laughing for a week. My mother insisted he replace the saucepan, if he found it so funny, which he did. I was forbidden to set foot in the kitchen again and missed a week's pocket money in punishment.

So what were the three important things I learned from this embarrassing kitchen accident?

First, make sure you have everything you need, and read the recipe all the way through before you start to cook.

Second, own up to your mistakes when they happen, because it will be a lot worse later on.

Third - teach your children to cook.

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