10 of 17

Tea

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Several of the counter arguements sum up exactly why I often prefer tea, and tea drinkers. With coffee, often comes pretension. The masses see coffee as a way of rebelling. It's alcohol-lite. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard one of the kids I teach, ask me if I want to go for a coffee. 'No', I'll reply, 'But do you fancy a tea?'

The look of absolute righteous indignation on their faces will warm my heart almost certainly without fail. I was even told last week that we couldn't go for tea, because, and I quote 'only my mum would be seen dead with a PG Tips.'

Apparently it just screams 'Coronation Street.'

Frequently I find the people who use this line of reasoning in the first place either like the taste of tea or have never even thought about trying it. So why do they look down upon it, as I might look down upon the 15 year old, having her third baby and swigging from a can of lager?

It's all down to the images associated with either drink. With coffee comes a beret, a goatee, poetry, rebellion, self-expression, art. With tea comes watching Eastenders with your mum, before settling down to a game of scrabble. And don't forget to put the cat out.

Honestly I prefer tea, flat out, because I prefer the taste. And I find tea drinkers often cite the same reason.

Now, I own a beret, I have a goatee, I write poetry, I suppose I'm vaguely rebellious (the headlight's out on my car, I drove it to the store today, oo er) I love to express myself and I adore art. And I don't regularly drink coffee. Nor do I particularly like watching soap operas with my mother, lovely as she is. I've not played Monopoly since I was ten.

And you know what, you can relax with a cup of tea at any time of the day. There's none of the elitism or the petty snobbery of coffee. A de-cafe-non fat-mochasupermegaultimatelattechino? It sounds like something from a bad sci-fi. Only the very upper echelons of society, or those who aspire to join such a rung would order a drink so rife with frippery. Tea unites the classes. The Queen drinks tea. So does the bloke I had in to fix my fence guzzles it as if it were the waters of the fountain of youth.

And the final nail in the coffin of coffee, and let's be honest here, which makes your cookies taste nicer when you dunk them?

I rest my case.

Now, does anyone fancy a cuppa'?

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