So often we fail to treat teenagers as we should. More often than not we alter our parental persona somewhat to suit our fears. Fear? Yes we often fear the teen years, worrying how our teenagers will turn out. Thus, we sometimes turn into the prison warden in a sense.

We become overly protective and without realizing it we smother the child, yet with rules rather than love. Instead of compromising, we simply state "because I said so" and leave it at that. Then teen rebels due to the fact that they feel we do not understand the. And therefor we begin the vicious cycle of "talking at them" rather than to them. We often need to step back and analyze how we would feel if someone did this to us.

Having four sons I certainly learned by trial and error. Yet my two younger sons were a breeze to raise, in comparison to my older ones. I take the blame for this as I worried about peer pressure with alcohol, drugs, promiscuity and so forth. Aids, STD and so forth.

What I was failing to do was to acknowledge my fears. Yet my children needed explanations which I was not giving them. A reason for the rules, curfews and so forth. Having no male support at that time certainly did not help. So what should we do to increase awareness and respect in our teens?

1) Treat them as young adults for that's what they are.
2) Talk about your fears to them.
3) Listen to their fears and views on different adult topics, sex, homosexuality and so forth, without being judgmental.
4) Show your teen respect for their individuality.
5) Respect that differing tastes in clothes, hair style etc does make them anyone else other than the child you love.
6) Give praise where it is due, encouragement when needed.
7) Give your child reason to be proud of being who and what they are.
8) Give guidance without pressure.
9) Explain that curfews are for their protection.
10) Use your manners to them and you will receive the same.
11) Instill honesty and trust and your teenager should return the favor.

Purchase books about the trials and traumas of growing up. Take an interest in their hobbies, fashion and so forth. Don't create a generation gap that continually widens. Enjoy your child, they grow up so fast, yet don't hold them back.

Learn more about this author, Shenni Bubb.
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