by Allison Hickman

Created on: April 20, 2008

It seemed like our daughter was continually getting reprimanded at home for not completing simple tasks such as cleaning her room, making her bed and getting dressed when asked. One evening when she expressed great frustration because she could not get out of the tub, dry off and get her pajamas on when asked bells and whistles sounded in my head. She wasn't upset because she didn't feel like doing these things, she couldn't.

There were other incidences that we questioned and when explored further they lead to the conclusion that our daughter was indeed suffering from a learning disability. She had learned to accommodate her short-comings by memorizing instead of learning skills in school. While at home, she had a list of chores to complete. She would only do the ones that she remembered doing day after day, for instance; making her bed and brushing her teeth. We were forced to put our own guilt aside so that we could focus our attention on the testing and diagnosis of her disability; mild dyslexia.

In educating ourselves about our daughter's disability we have discovered ways to help her perform to her potential in school without her feeling signaled out. The following suggestions have come from her doctor and teachers as well as research that we have studied about dyslexia.

1. Keep in constant contact with your child's teacher regarding progress or obstacles. If you feel your child's needs are not being met or recognized, don't hesitate to go to the school counselor for assistance. Not all teachers are familiar with dyslexia and its many traits, and may require some additional information.

2. It is important for the entire family, including extended family, to show support for the child. They need to be aware of what dyslexia is and the obstacles that it imposes on a child.

3. Children with dyslexia tend to be more nervous and up tight, therefore; an environment that is loud or involves a great deal of yelling can tend to set off temper tantrums and blow ups. Keep the atmosphere calm and watch your child for signs of stress. If need be, remove them from the situation or redirect their attention until they calm down. .

4. Break tasks down into a FEW simple steps. Write them down on a board with the child and go over them DAILY. When they can read the board and complete the tasks without assistance, leave the board in their room for them to refer to. New tasks can be added by the parent when the child appears to be ready for more responsibility. We set up such a board in our daughter's room and it was a BIG success.

5. Try not to loose your temper when tasks are not carried out by your child. They DO NOT process information the way we do. You may ask them something like, "make your bed and clean your room", but to them what you said may have been construed as, "go to your room and open your clothes drawer". Try to keep this in mind if you are on the brink of insanity. If they sense your frustration, you will get it back two fold!

These suggestions have helped us understand "how" our daughter perceives things from her point of view. In response to knowing this, we have learned how to incorporate her disability into her life, NOT incorporate her life into her disability. My biggest suggestion is, do not hesitate to seek advice if you think that your child has a learning disability. The quicker a diagnosis can be made the sooner the problem can be addressed.

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