by Renee Lash

Created on: April 20, 2008

My children are two of the greatest motivating factors in my life. Since they came along I find myself driven to bigger and better things for all of us.

The way society is wired today the greatest and most often only the winners are praised. A lot of parents I know have fallen into this trap. Children need love. Not just the implied love because they are our offspring, but demonstrated love. A hug, a kiss, a moment taken away from our busy schedules just for them. These are necessary things for children. Letting them know they deserve and own a special place in our lives and hearts will make them better and stronger human beings.

I was raised in a home where there were not many physical displays of affection. Even as an adult sometimes I find it difficult to let my guard down long enough to enjoy a hug from a friend or family member. I got a crash course in this area when a decade or so ago I married into a family that is very physically demonstrative. Hugs and kisses are commonplace. I tell all this because I now realize that we as adults mirror the attitudes of our parents or caregivers. Our children will do the same. In my heart I believe it is not just OK but essential that we as parents show affection for our children if we want them to integrate these emotions into their own lives. Showing them through our actions that a hug and a word of praise for an effort are acceptable and appropriate will benefit them greatly. It will help them foster closer relationships with all of the other people in their lives. Eventually they can pass this on to the next generation. I believe this is one habit and legacy we can all be proud to pass on to our children and grandchildren.

One thing I do find distressing is that some parents think showing affection for children will make them too vulnerable and their children too soft. I have found just the opposite is true for me. Showing love and acceptance as well as guidance for my children has made me stronger in their eyes. Making special note of accomplishments and praising them with words and hugs has made them more confident. I want them to know that no matter what life throws at them they will always have a safe place with me.

My children inspire me in ways that are unique. I'd like to do the same for them. They are gaining their outlook on life through my eyes and my actions. They make me a better person and I will never think it acceptable not to show them how much I value them.

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