by Michael Mikolajczyk

Created on: April 20, 2008

It never fails to amuse me how otherwise normal, rational people can become so riled up over a simple discussion about the pros and cons of religion that they lose their credibility and begin to bash atheism itself, not the reasons and logic behind it. To condense my thoughts, I believe that atheism is not a choice, but rather a revelation or an epiphany.

I was raised in a very conservative church-going household, and I loved that belief system all throughout my early childhood and middle school years. When I moved from my home state, my horizons broadened and I was granted a bit more freedom here and there. One thing that I immediately began to try to do was broaden my knowledge base, as well, using the internet, books, and worthwhile conversation.

At first, not much changed. I was reading things on the topic of Christianity, the Bible, and all other sorts of "Yay God!" topics. Again, let me reiterate that I was happy with this mindset. I was not bitter towards my religion, nor did I feel "chained" in any way.

Slowly, however, I began to read thoughts about the "other side"; the "dark side", if you will: Atheism. What at first began as a quote here, a forum post there quickly became a near-deluge of information about the probability, unlikelihood, and downright contradictory natures of god. These were things that I had never looked at before; thoughts that I had never had; words that I had never dreamed of reading. These were arguments against God that made sense. Is that possible?

As time progressed, my mind could not be satiated. I had to do my research solely on the internet for fear of being caught by my parents reading a bookyou see, to be thought of as an atheist in a devout Christian home is a not-so-good idea. I found my thought patters changing, my emotions on church and god warping and shifting, and my need to believe in a god waning quickly.

It was no petty "choice." I did not wake up and want to be an atheist. Being an atheist in the household of my family was, frankly, a horrible decision that would most likely bring some very bad results. I wished that I could think different; I prayed to god for him to show me a sign or give me any reason to believe; nothing came. Only the facts and my logic remained.

Over time, I grew comfortable with atheism and no longer said that I "believed" in Atheism. Rather, I am an Atheist. Although the difference may seem trivial or non-existent, the two phrases are fundamentally dissimilar. I do not subscribe to a set of rigid or flexible beliefs; rather, I simply "know" that there is no god or at least the gods that I have been exposed to do not exist.

This is neither presumptuous nor an attempt to be all-knowing and fall under the same category of blind faith that so many religious people follow: of course there is no way to "know" to the technical extent that there is not a god. Of course, there is no way to "know" that unicorns do not exist, either, but I don't think we're running around shopping for their horns, now are we?

I am convinced of the non-existence of god through the revelation of knowledge, not through the casual belief of a follower. If you open your mind and begin your search, perhaps that revelation will stop by your door, too.

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