by Ann Carrol

Created on: April 20, 2008   Last Updated: May 31, 2010

This may sound trite, but I knew it was coming...at least two years
before. I began to feel it maybe five years before. I knew it when our two companies had to merge. Anyone in my situation feels like a target.

I was a manager in a smaller division, with what I considered a decent
income. I had been with the company for 25 years when I was let go, and had
five and a half weeks of vacation. I had a lifetime of experience and was very good at

my job. Still , I received a "marginal" review for the first time in my life.

I was not stupid . I knew what it was all about. It was all about money.
To "validate" the marginal rating, there were things on my review that were
blown so far out of proportion, it was beyond belief. My line of work was very subjective, only opinions, there were no hard facts, such as numbers, sales goals, etc. There was nothing tangible on which to base a rating. It is all opinion and innuendo. It did not make sense that someone like me , who had won numerous awards over the years, could suddenly be so "incompetent"? How did I last for 25 years if I was so terrible at my job?

I can understand the money issue. But, I was never allowed an alternative.
There was no such thing as allowing a manager to step down, step aside or accept
another position within the company. This company did not work that way. The reason?
They did not want "negativity" to work its way into the rest of the workforce.

What about negativity within the community? If it makes them feel any better, I
have not said anything derogatory to anyone on the "outside", only that I was
downsized and that it's happening all over the place. I am venting here, on
paper, part of some sort of healing process, you could say.

It was very different when I started. Now, there is no creativity, no independent thought. What is expected now is endless hours, being pulled from your location to help in another one, all the while your own location must look as though you were never gone. No excuses.
I cannot tell you how miserable everyone is, not only in my department, but in every department. Most managers in our company are the most overworked and underpaid
(and most maligned) group of people I've ever known.

My being "let go", "fired", "downsized", or whatever you want to call it, may
very well be a blessing in disguise. Whenever I run into someone from my former workplace, they tell me how LUCKY I am, that I am the lucky one, that I don't know
how fortunate I am to be out of there. Actually, I do know. And

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