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Honesty is the best policy. We have all heard this classic old adage but is honesty really always best? Maybe not. It depends on the situation, the people involved and the consequences of telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

When I was about 8 years old or so we had a little dog named Chiquita. She was a sweet little dog and we all loved her. One day when my uncle was backing out of the drive way he accidentally ran over her and killed her. I am sure he felt very bad about it and, knowing how much we loved the little dog, hated the thought of telling us what he had done. My brother and I were not home at the time so my grandmother and uncle decided not to tell us what had happened to our little dog. Instead, they disposed of her body and pretended like they didn't know where she was. When we started to ask where Chiquita was they would say things like "Well, maybe she ran away" or "I guess she found another place to live". Consequently, my brother and I spent hours calling for her and looking for her. Months later my grandmother finally spilled the beans and told us what really happened. I, for one, was furious. I felt so betrayed. Yes, I was a child but I certainly understood the concept of an accident and would not have been angry at my uncle. It would have been better, and less hurtful to me, if they had told the truth in the first place. In this case honesty would have been the best policy.

But there are times when honesty is not the best thing to do. Consider the case of a husband whose X-wife was a better cook then a current wife. If he is a smart man he will never tell his current wife that her cooking is inferior to his X-wife's cooking. What would be the point? Unless he is trying to hurt her feelings or enjoys sleeping on the couch. There is certainly no harm in keeping your mouth shut on certain things. Likewise, the woman whose former boyfriend was better looking or had bigger muscles than her current man. Why beat him over the head with things he has no control over? Keep your mouth shut and live a happier life.

Total and complete honesty is a double edged sword. It cuts both ways and can do more damage then good sometimes but can also be the best thing to do in the long run; it depends on a lot of different factors. So, before you open your mouth to tell your mother-in-law that her favorite yellow dress makes her look like a corpse think about how you would feel if someone said that to you. Perhaps the old adage should have a disclaimer attached: Honesty is the best policy. (certain conditions apply)

Learn more about this author, Gayle Parks.
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