by Elizabeth Wordsmith

Created on: April 19, 2008

Children learn from example. When parents spank their children as a form of discipline, it sends the message that hitting is acceptable. Not only that, the child learns to fear rather than to trust.

If disciplining is to be instructive, positive methods must be used. Before children have the vocabulary necessary to understand explanations of what is right and wrong behavior, the most effective technique to correct unwanted behavior is distraction. Redirect the child from what he is currently doing to something more desirable. For instance, if your little darling is banging a toy against your prized coffee table or coloring on a wall, redirect him to a more acceptable activity. Give him a place he can do these things and help him begin to understand the difference between, say, coloring on paper and coloring on the living room walls.

When children are in their two's, parents must up their game. Two-year-olds are exploring their world with greater skills and mobility. They are highly motivated to learn about everything. Sometimes their greatest attribute, the desire to learn, comes in conflict with parents' desire to maintain order and prevent things from getting destroyed. Parents have to decide which battles to choose. For instance, the child's environment should be friendly instead of being filled with no no's. Remove prized objects from their reach. Have a playroom or area where they are free to do what they do: make messes, color, play roughly, and so forth. Kids shouldn't be punished for what they do naturally.

Young children often become behavior problems when they are tired or hungry. Sometimes they do things they know full well are naughty just to get attention. Parents need to be in tune with their child and know when it's nap time, when they need a snack, or when the parent needs to drop what they're doing and sit down and play with their child.

Shopping and going out to eat with a child can sometimes tax a parent's patience. But see it from the viewpoint of a child. Obviously they are not interested in the same things we are. And they don't have the attention span of an older child. So it is unfair to expect them to endure long hours shopping or sitting in a high chair waiting for food. Bring toys, little snacks such as raisins, and other distractors for them. If you're waiting in a restaurant for your order and your child becomes restless, take them outside for a walk. If they get cranky when you take them shopping, sometimes it's best to just take

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