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When I miss work it is usually for a good reason, either I am sick or someone is dead. I find I rarely have to create an excuse. Although I did once use what is known as a "mental health day", I was not sick but I just could not justify going to work. Kind of like the excuse that floats through e-mails around the office. "I can't come to work, I have been diagnosed with anal glaucoma" "I can't see my butt getting out of bed and coming in today". Haven't we all felt like saying that to the less than understanding boss.

Years ago while attending Cosmetology school, a male student had a habit of calling in sick on a regular basis. The instructor kept a little note book detailing his unique excuses. We voted this one a classic. "I can't come to school today, because my front door in frozen shut" "I guess we had the air conditioner on too cold last night". The student used this excuse in the middle of July!

On one occasion, a male employee called in sick. Stating he could not come in because he had been on a fishing expedition the day before. He said and I quote; "One of those flying carp fish smacked me in the side of my head and now I got a ear infection".

A friend of mine missed a day of work due to an unfortunate situation. She claimed she went out to get in her car, and found the door to the drivers side laying in the driveway. We had a good laugh over her excuse, even though it was true. She drove and old "beater of a car" that had more rust than paint. It as very easy to find her old car in the employees parking lot. Evidently while she slept the hinge on the door rusted through. Her boss just nodded his head and walked away without making any comment.

Numerous times employees have called in using unbelievable and less than creative excuses. "My washer is broke, I have no clean clothes to wear to work". "The alarm did not go off, so my husband and I won't be in today". Hmm... should I call her husbands office on the other side of town and tell them he would not be coming in? "My daughter is crying because she can't find her favorite doll, so I have to stay home and clean my house". That one gave me an unwanted visual of her humble abode.

My all time favorite is "Last night was my sister's boyfriends birthday. It was a huge party and it was late by the time everyone left. Then we had to clean up the house. So now I don't have time to get ready for work".

I realize there are at times extenuating circumstances causing us to miss work. It's the manner in which they are presented that leads us, as employers to question if they are legitimate. Wouldn't it be easier to wait until the automated answering machine comes on and leave a message? Simply stating "I will not be coming in to work today"....click.

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