by Angela Hope

Created on: April 19, 2008   Last Updated: July 21, 2011

There was once a time when I looked unhappily out of a doomed relationship at greener grass on the other side of the fence. It seemed to me that the relationship I was in was so far from a normal one, that any other would be better.

I hated being the victim of an unpredictable angry man, who would find the smallest thing to fault, even the cat in the front room one time. I lived a life walking on eggshells, as I know there are countless other women that do the same.

One day I made a decision. If things didn't change by Easter I would leave, and Easter came and went, I made a decision July and July came and went. I made a final decision, When my son graduated high school it was definitely time.

I knew this time that if I put it off again that I was just never going to do it. This time the decision had an alternative. If I didn't do it this time I was to give up trying to leave. I was going to just make the best of what I had and that although being content with my life was unattainable it was my own fault for not having the courage to make my own life better.

So my son graduated high school and I watched the ceremony knowing the time had come to make that final decision and no looking back. I knew I had to be strong, and I knew I had to do it.

I did not want to live the rest of my life in fear wondering wondering wondering if one day i would not be able to avoid his anger. The alternative to leaving him was what what finally made me do it.

The next three years were possibly the hardest years of my life. I found out the hard way that the grass is not greener on the other side, its just different. Every lesson in life is hard, if it wasn't we wouldn't learn much at all. I've come through a long dark tunnel with a lot of twists and turns. The light at the end of the tunnel seemed unreachable for so long. But finally I turned a corner and there right in front of me was the greenest tastiest grass I have ever dreamed of.

Today I live with my children in a tiny little house that I call home, I have a full time job of importance, that gives me not only a sense of self achievement and self worth, it allows me to support myself and give something worthwhile back to the world. The stress I once lived with has been replaced with a normal amount of stress that makes my life normal.

At last I not only like who I am, I love who I am. I am a strong able bodied woman with a purpose in the world.

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