by S P Cameron

Created on: April 19, 2008   Last Updated: December 12, 2009

At what point do we realise that we have lost a sense of our creativity? Is it on the first day when we go to write, paint, draw, or sing and decide that suddenly our office needs a really good reorganising? Is it after a week, when we have spent every moment procrastinating finding anything else to be busy doing rather than the creative venture we should be busy doing? Or perhaps it is after a month when we still cannot seem to find any creative inspiration, and just feel utterly unmotivated and useless, because as our chosen profession, we should be able to choose when we are creative and when we're not? But alas, creativity is not a logical device and can not be merely switched on or off, which is unfortunate, because when you discover that your creativity has gone for a walk and doesn't feel like taking you with it, it can be a rather demoralising, depressing and an unnerving experience.

I had the most extraordinary year in so many ways last year. I successfully produced and performed two sell out seasons of my show, and although the seasons were intimate, the sense of fulfillment and achievement was overwhelming. I also got married, and we all know that planning and preparing for such an event is really exciting, but also rather time consuming and tiresome. However, for us, our wedding became quite a creative outlet because we decided that it would be a mystery tour for our guests and, apart from the arrival time and place, no one knew where they were headed next. It was a joy for us to give them such a surprise!

Then we had the most extraordinary experience of traveling the world on our honeymoon and being inspired by the way other people live, immersing ourselves in new and exciting cultural discoveries everyday for three and a half months. So how is it possible that after such life changing and rewarding experiences I could possibly feel so uninspired, unmotivated and not the slightest bit creative?

When I returned from our honeymoon, I succumbed to an immensely depressing period falling into a very deep slump. Some would say that is logical. It is impossible to be in such a state of prolonged bliss without the inevitability of coming back down to earth again. But there's coming down and then there's coming down. I didn't want to write, I had no desire to sing or act, and consequently became ridiculously nervous before auditions because I hadn't prepared well enough. Then I berated myself for allowing myself to get in this position further fueling my

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