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Some people will say never, never go over your boss' head. That's usually a nice safe way to keep your job and get along with the person who's in charge of your career. Spiritually and emotionally, it could tear your guts to pieces, and if that becomes a problem, just look for opportunities to apply for another job within your company or start pounding the pavement to find a job elsewhere. The important feature of this situation is that you never let the boss know, no matter how lousy he/she is to you, that you're busy working behind his back to get away. When you get an offer, a written one is safer, you can tell the mean boss to go to you know where.

However, if your situation necessitates going over your boss' head, and you want to keep your job, don't do anything until your boss has agreed to a private sit-down with you. During the meeting, unload all your feelings about the difficulties between the two of you, and suggest how they can be settled amicably. If, at the end of the meeting, you believe there is no resolution, then you tell your boss you sincerely feel you must take your case to a higher company official. Try to keep it civil, with no ranting, finger-pointing or accusations. Then, because you calmly explained your complaints and followed company protocol, your boss has no recourse but to allow you to go over his/her head.

There's another element involved, and I'll call it politics. That's the way I played it when I had trouble with my boss. He wasn't a bad guy, but because he was the director and I was the division manager, he believed it was his right to do as little work as possible. Personally, I didn't mind too much, because he allowed me to concentrate on getting our division's work out efficiently and on time. Anyhow, I had a strong sense of loyalty to the guy, because he hired me as manager when my not-so-young age could have kept me out of a meaningful job and good income just when my kids were getting to high school age. Loyalty is a fine attribute, but eventually I felt it should go only so far.

The other 40 people in the division knew what a deadhead my boss was, and he became an object of derision and whispers behind his back. I tried to squelch the gossip whenever possible, but everyone could clearly see he sat in his office all day, reading the newspaper and generally goofing off. The ridicule reflected on me and my lack of standing up to the boss, and my anger grew as more staffers asked me to do something about the worsening situation.

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