by Sasha Bella

Created on: April 19, 2008

Recently, I came across a woman who was angry. She was not just angry for the moment though; she was living that way! I watched her interact with others. Like a tornado passing through, she left a path of destruction and brokenness behind her. As she dealt with strangers, she was abrasive and condescending. She must not realize how she is acting or may be having a bad day, I thought. Then I noticed she was extremely critical of her husband also. He just sat there calmly, letting her anger storm pass him by. He did not even seem phased, as if he had grown accustomed to it. He spoke gently and softly, while she was tense and curt. She was bitter and annoyed, while he was nonchalant. Her fists were clinched. Her body was tight. Her eyes showed a roaring fire within, while he was merely an observer like me. I wondered what made her this way and why he had no reaction. Was it something recent, such as a layoff or the death of a loved one, or was it something that happened in her youth that she had been unable to let go of?

Simply watching her was exhausting. I couldn't imagine how tired her husband must have been, enduring this daily. I wondered if she was tired as well; tired of living this way, tired of being bitter, tired of being tense. Perhaps she may not have even noticed the heaviness upon her spirit.

Though we never spoke, I learned a lot from observing the couple. They were great teachers! In each of them, I saw someone I could become in 20 years; anyone could become that way if he allows it. Like the man, we can choose to let cyclones cross our paths while we sit idle and unengaged, or like her we can become the storms ourselves. They taught me that life really is about choices.

We must all choose our quality of life. After all, our time is slowly ticking away whether we enjoy ourselves or not. We must choose to forgive both others and ourselves, choose to move forward with or without those who have hurt us, and choose to let go either way. I do not want to grow old, as the woman had, leaving destruction and broken hearts in my path. I want to nurture, build up, and enrich those I interact with. And unlike her husband, I expect the same from my spouse and want more from my marriage. I consciously choose to have an easy, light spirit and maintain a positive attitude even in the midst of pain. I choose to accept criticism with a grain of salt, separating that which is genuinely offered to help me from that which is meant to hurt me. I choose to live a full and wonderful life that I can look back on with pride and dignity. I will leave this world with a free and peaceful spirit.

If you are like the couple I observed, I challenge you to live differently as well. If you have not yet made a decision about what you expect from life, I caution you. Beware that making no choice is, in fact, a choice. Life really is what you make it, and I will live mine filled with love and compassion. How will you live yours? Like the man, will you accept a less than happy marriage and simply endure your days? Will you stay in a job you hate? Will you wake every morning simply to "go through the motions?" The choices you make, and more importantly those you do not make, determine the quality of your life. Spend it fully engaged, taking an active role, and allowing yourself the best experience possible. After all, the clock is ticking!

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