" Tina I want you to practice your music. You have been really not focused this week. If you don't get back on top of your game your band members will hate you. Now I do not want that to happen so practice okay and if anything is wrong you know you can always talk to someone," my Classical Music Composer told me when practice was over today. He has the same name as my father , Carver but his last name is different of course.
My father was a musical genius and his name was Carver Marvalo and he was a Composer known all over the world. I always knew that I wanted to follow in his footsteps but right now I am starting to feel like no matter what I do I or no one else will ever be like my father because he was extraordinary and he wasn't afraid to be different and express his thoughts to the world. My father died when I was 8 years old and now I am 26 years old. I have learned how to cope with my fathers death and understand that he would have wanted me to have a happy life and not worry about how he is doing.
When I went home today my daughter greeted me the same way she always had with a smile and running to me as if she hadn't seen me in years. That's what I loved about her. Her name is Jessie Manny and she is a person who will always light up a horrible day.
" Hi mommy. The babysitter is upstairs sleeping." She said as she handed me some mail that had came to the house.
" Oh really and how long has she been upstairs?"
" Since a long time ago."
" Ha ha ha ha."
I walked up the stairs and Mrs. Bopplemen was asleep. I woke her up and told that she was not supposed to be asleep for a very long time if she is babysitting.
" I don't pay you 10 dollars an hour for you to lay around. My child is only 5 years old and as smart as she may be she still doesn't know a lot about the things that can harm her so either you learn how to stay up or you are fired!" I told Mrs. Bopplemen.
" Okay I'll learn how to stay up. She goes to sleep why can't I?"
" You are an adult and your job was to watch over her not her watch over you. Here is your money today I'm paying you 8 dollars an hour. Next time I'll just fire you!"
A little harsh huh. I just don't want anything happening to my daughter. I had a very hard childhood after I was 8 years old and I want to give my child the world before something happens to me.
My daughter reminds me of my mother she has my mothers smile and her intelligence.
My mother was a pharmacist. She also did many other things. She was a talented piano player and her favorite thing to do was write stories. She had written 245 books and 45 were published. She was a very happy person until after my father died. She seemed to never get over his death and she never tried to help me get over his death either. Even though my mother was home a lot I felt as if I never saw her because we lived in a very large home and she always seemed to dodge me. When I saw her go to one room I went to that room but then she would vanish. She died when I was14 and I was sent to live with my aunt Josie. I always had a empty space somewhere inside of me when my mother died.
My aunt Josie was 40 when I went to live with her. She was very sick and had told me that I would have to learn to do things on my own and to be street smart because if I wasn't I may find myself in horrible situations. Aunt Josie still made sure I had money for lunch and that I had money to spend for things I needed. She would give me 20 dollars for lunch and 50 dollars for clothes every 2 weeks. I loved the money but when my aunt Josie had to quit her job due to cancer I had to find a job. I was 15 when I had to get a job and take care of my aunt. I had to do well in school and work. After school I would go home and take care of her and fix dinner but I could only be home for a hour because then I would have to go to work for 5 hours. My money was not helping us very much so I had to get help from a family friend. My mothers friend Sara Barbara gave me 100 dollars every month to help me and my Aunt. It wasn't very much but it did help. When I was 16 Aunt Josie had passed due to Cancer. I hadn't known her very well so it didn't affect me to much but I was sad and scared of what might happen to me.
" Jessie what do you want to eat tonight?"
" Mac& Cheese and hamburger."
" How about we go out to eat tonight."
" Oooh where?"
" Kids Playhouse."
" Yaaah I love that place."
I was sent to a children's home when I was 16 . The place was awful. The other kids never talked to me or understood me . The food did not taste well and the only time I could be away from those people was when I went to school. I was still doing well in school and despite all of my troubles I graduated early. Instead of graduating at 17 I graduated at 16 so I was happy about that. I started college early after I graduated because I f I didn't I would have to be at the Children's Home. College was fun. I had more friends. I was invited to many parties but I turned down many invitations because I wanted to graduate from college with a Bachelors degree in Business Administration.
When I was 21 I was invited to a meeting discussing my mother and my fathers will.
My father wanted to give me his trumpet and take care of it. He also wanted me to have the money that he had saved for me so I could go to college which was $42,000.00. He left me and my mother all of his left over money which was $120,000,000.00 . My mother left me the house and her jewelry , wedding ring , and $76,000,000.00.
I was very happy. My family and I got our own house and I still owned the house I lived in when I was little. I put away money for Jessie's College Fund and I saved some for later.
I graduated with a bachelors degree in Business Administration . I was a assistant at a large printing company for 2 years until I realized that I could be more happy playing the cello.
" Mommy when is dad coming home?"
" When he gets off of work now go play and have fun!"
I answer my cell phone.
"Hello."
"Hi turn around."
I hung up my cell phone.
I turned around and Kurk was standing there.
" Daddy." Yelled Jessie as she ran to him.
" How did you know we were here." I asked him.
" You left a note on the refrigerator door."
" Oh , that's right."
Kurk was a lawyer and busy all the time so when we saw him we automatically smiled and cheered.
When we went home I started to thinking about my mother. I know everything about my father and If I didn't I could learn more about him on a Search Engine on the Internet . I didn't know much about my mother so the next morning I went searching for information at my childhood home. This place is huge I thought to myself when I walked into the house.
There were so many memories in this home. The Glad and the Bad. I went to my parents room. All of there belongings were in the same places they were when they left me.
I opened my mothers drawer and I saw many pill bottles and pills in her drawers. I didn't think anything of it until I went to visit Sara Barbara again.
" Hello Sara." I said
" Hello come in." She said.
I asked her a few questions.
" Your mom was stressed even before your father died. She was worried about her books and her job. She wanted your father to be home more but since he was a composer he couldn't. She started to take pills and the fact that she was a pharmacist made it easier for her to get pills. She got addicted to pain pills. One day your father stayed home to look for your mother because she had been gone for hours one day. He found her and they were arguing. A car was coming towards your mother. He pushed her out the way and he got hit by the car." I started to cry. She started to speak again. " Your mother felt guilty after he died and she started to avoid you and she began to take more pills until one day she overdosed on pain pills."
I now knew everything about my mother that I needed to know. I was crying the whole day until I realized that I had a very empty space and the empty space was my mother.
" Mommy why are you crying." Jessie asked me.
" No reason honey."
My empty space is no longer empty because as long as I have Jessie I have Mom. Moms smile, intelligence , determination , and so much more.
Bye empty space ,hello life.