The word "boss" is one of the most despicable words in our language because its usage only exacerbates an already fundamentally dysfunctional dynamic.

"Would you step into my office, please?"

We all find ourselves answering to somebody sometime, and probably always will. However, putting too much stock in this particular title, which carries a multitude of negative connotations, creates a precarious interpersonal relationship from the very get-go. Committing yourself to never forgetting what it was like to take orders will make you far more effective when it becomes your turn to dish them out.

"Praise in public, criticize in private" is probably the most valuable piece of management advice any person can learn.

This phrase came from an old-timer who often boiled down a lifetime's supply of acquired words of wisdom into such concise, compassionate and correct statements. Nothing hurts more than being undressed for a slip-up in front of your peers. If you are doing the undressing, and make the mistake of doing this, you are sure to alienate not only the subject of your wrath, but also all those within witnessing distance.

Employees respond far more favorably when they feel empowered. Therefore, as part of every directive or assignment, a particularly persuasive tool comes in the form of a two-part question: "What do you think? Any suggestions?" These cannot be merely empty words with no verifiable outcome.

It is imperative that a caring manager create an atmosphere that engenders a sense of partnership between the employer and the employee. Inclusion in decision-making is one way. Another is to let employees see you willing to do similar tasks that you are asking them to do. It's not that hard to make the next pot of coffee. Nor is it beneath you to do some shoveling on those snow days. Of course, this concept also applies to sometimes getting into the trenches on assignments and projects.

"Everyone needs to feel authenticated" is another axiom that fits well into a healthy workplace environment.

Presumably, every employee on the payroll is there for a reason so it becomes the responsibility of the person in charge to communicate this value to each member of the staff. In carrying out this sometimes difficult task, the employer must accept the reality that not all employees will respond the same way, nor should the employer expect every employee to respond as he or she would. This requires patience, which really is the ultimate hallmark of a strong and respected workplace leader.

Unfortunately, many who eventually find themselves elevated on the management flow chart really are not equipped for the challenges. If you find yourself employing tactics of intimidation (anger and defensiveness, or issuing ultimatums, threats and quotas, etc.) it behooves you to take the initiative to improve yourself as a manager by signing up for workshops or taking courses to learn how to become more effective.

If you are spending more time writing up negative entries for your employees' personnel files than you are providing positive feedback then you are a prime candidate for a good dose of management training. If this option doesn't appeal to you, do yourself and your employees a big favor: Find another position that better fits either your skill level or your personality.

By all means, whatever you do in your quest to be a superb workplace leader, never think of yourself in terms of that title laced with negativity ("little b "boss") and, foremost, shun all attempts by your employees to use the awful slur as well.

Learn more about this author, G.K. Dickey.
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