by Clarkson Wroe

Created on: April 18, 2008

BRITAIN 2008 CAN'T AFFORD TO FLY, DRIVE, DRINK, KEEP WARM OR HAVE A HOUSE AND YOU NOW HAVE TO BRING YOUR SHOPPING HOME TWO TINS AT A TIME!

My friend Simcock is an environmentalist and my friend Spicer is classed as a medium sized country under the Kyoto agreement for his carbon footprint. This leads to lively discussions after Friday afternoon tennis especially after Simcock has downed his third locally brewed organic bitter and Spicer is on his fourth ridiculously expensive larger that is brewed in Scandinavia, bottled in Bratislava and shipped via twelve different distribution points to our pub for his edification.

The conversation recently touched upon a regular topic, green taxes', the mention of which always infuriates me because Mr Brown, our newly cuddly Prime Minister, only seems to implement them as an election tool and nothing green' ever seems to improve or materialise. Taxes don't bother Spicer and his like because if it costs a hundred quid more to fly to Dubai for a long weekend, so be it, he can afford it, or if you get 15% less fuel for your tenner, at the petrol station, than you did a month ago, a trifle annoying but the second bottle of Chablis usually puts it into perspective. On the other hand if, like many people, you live in the country and can only get a bus to the nearest town on a Tuesday at 3.27.p.m. and return on a Thursday at 6.55.a.m. and you are earning a minimum wage whilst trying your damdest to bring up a family the extra cost of fuel is a tad more of an issue.

Tax seems to be the answer to everything, just bung the price up then at least the Government get more money to waste on Casino reviews and Identity cards and can also afford to carry out their latest scheme to beat worldwide economic meltdown by pulling into school, for at least one day, all the undereducated and undervalued teenagers, interrupting their mission to terrorise Britain, so that they can swear an allegiance to Britain and its Government. The newest target is alcohol, which is to be taxed higher and higher to prevent binge drinking in the young and the violence caused by it. I personally do not see how this can work as your average white track suited; Burberry capped youth will now have to mug and beat up four people to acquire enough money for his habit unlike the mere one unfortunate that suffers at his hands at present. You see politicians and economists have no grasp of reality.

Simcock has recently been a big advocate in the debate regarding the battle

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