by Susie Rider

Created on: April 18, 2008

Every year, PEOPLE magazine crowns a male celebrity as "the Sexiest Man Alive." Usually, I find their choices either perverse or obvious. For example: Matt Damon was last year's recipient. While Damon is clearly a movie star, and very attractive in an Eddie Bauer, masculine-cute, milk-drinking W.A.S.P. kind of way, he isn't sexy. He's the type of guy one wants to take as a date to a wedding, and weddings aren't sexy (even one's own). As PEOPLE demonstrates, in popular culture "sexy" is frequently used synonymously with "handsome." However, a handsome man may not have much sex appeal, and vice versa. So, what makes a man sexy? In my opinion, there are six qualities which make a man sexy: sensuality; humor; intelligence; self-confidence; graciousness, and most intangible of all - "It." Briefly, I'll elaborate on each of these characteristics.

The first of these, sensuality, is both a form of mental appreciation and of physical awareness. A sensual person enjoys basic physical pleasures - eating a delicious meal, drinking a glass of French Bordeaux, enjoying the feel of good cashmere, etc. Obviously, this kind of man enjoys sex, and often thinks about it (possessing the "erotic imagination".) Every sexy guy has eloquent eyes - eyes that say erotic things. The power of a gaze is in its exclusivity and mute appeal to only a one certain pair of eyes. One of my ex-boyfriends used his green eyes as effectively as he did his hands. From across a room, I'd feel his gaze, look up, our eyes would meet, and then my heart would start thumping, my breathing would quicken, and my cheeks would burn. In short, I was totally infatuated.

Humor and intelligence, the second and third qualities, are appealing for obvious reasons. Personally, I love laughing, and deeply appreciate anyone who is funny. Funny people also tend to be self-confident (quality four) and have a certain social power, which I find attractive. For obvious reasons, a smart person is more interesting to be around. Plus, an intelligent person's problem-solving abilities simplify both ordinary and extraordinary life experiences which inevitably arise in one's life. The fifth quality, graciousness, connotes a generosity of spirit and the ability to think of other's feelings; good manners manifest consideration of others. Courtesy and etiquette aren't hard or complex, yet it's surprising how impolite many men unintentionally are.

Lastly, a sexy man has "It." Author Elinor Glyn, an eccentric English aristocrat who socialized with the Hollywood set of the 1920's, coined the term to describe that elusive something extra which some people possess: charisma, glamor, appeal, presence, attractiveness - "It" has an element of each of these. In any case, by definition a sexy person has "It:" simply put, he attracts, rather than repels.

In short, a man isn't sexy because he has a great body with a profile off a Roman coin and drives a Ferrari. Rather, he's sexy because he possesses certain abstract qualities that combine to make him a unique and attractive man, for whom women feel desire.

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