by TBAcademics

Created on: April 18, 2008

"Know your topic... know your topic...KNOW your topic." Advice I had read and personally received from some very learned, successful writers, here, at Helium, kept ringing in my ears. The voice of correctness, journalistic integrity, even the English teacher in me, my own greatest censor and critic, nudged and pecked and corrected me a thousand times before I decided to sit down and throw caution to the wind... for Lakeisha. Or was it for me? my sake? or for what lie in between, which was one big question mark, rage and fear. And add powerlessness, because there wasn't a damn thing I could do about any of it... now.

My good buddy, and co-worker met me at the teacher mailboxes. I was going out, and she, coming in. She immediately slumped, shifting all her weight to one hip, as if already exhausted, although we were just beginning another day in the public school system. I started to laugh (my No.1 coping mechanism). That's when breathlessly, she leaned over in my ear, "I've gotta get out of here... I can't stay... I've gotta do something... What are we going to do, man?"

This was pretty early, meaning before noon, for one of our daily venting sessions. Judging from the seriousness of her expression, I responded, "What is it, now?" At this point, I wasn't laughing. She just replied, "I'll be over there." Within minutes, she was standing in my classroom.

"Do you remember Ms. Boyd, our Student Resource Officer?"

Of course, I did. I said this. My buddy, Tee, slumped again, this time collapsing back into a student desk.

"She killed herself last night... She shot herself in the head, with her own revolver."

I made it to the nearest desk, myself, and immediately went "into the breath". This was training I learned several years ago, from reading Julia Cameron's, The Artist's Way, or was it Louise Hay, or a score of other self-help books I had invested in to deal with my own stuff? I started counting, inhaling and exhaling deeply, forgetting that Tee was even in the room, anymore, now staring at me.

"What happened?" escaping between my breaths. I leveled all of my weight into the chair.

Long story short, once she was released from what had been her reassignment, at our school, "a whole bunch of personal stuff" overwhelmed her, and after notifying her mother, she shot herself... last Sunday." As if this news wasn't enough to send me reeling before 27 kids would rush in, the Principal's voice came over the intercom, prompting all teachers to read their emails, immediately.

This

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>