by A. Kyles

Created on: April 18, 2008   Last Updated: April 17, 2010

Can a husband's behavior force a woman to be unfaithful? I honestly think so. I have been married for almost 11 years and with him for 12 years. I am his second wife and we met while he was seperated from his first one. I should also add that we have three children ranging from six months to seven years old.

We have had a pretty great sex life up until about two weeks ago. It's quite possible that it's been longer and I have been too busy and tired (from the new baby) to pay that much attention.

It has come to the point in our lives where we have only a few minutes alone together in a given day. We have to work around his work and the baby's sleep schedule. It takes a lot of waiting to get into the bedroom. Several nighs ago, he told me to wake him up when I got the baby down and was ready for bed. I did that and the sex was awesome! He then let me know, in no uncertain terms, that I was to do that any time I wanted - in fact, he preferred it.

Last night, I was exhausted, the baby was up until the wee hours of the morning and he was mad and upset that I didn't try and arouse him. Tonight, I had her down early, went to bed and tried everything I could to get him awake and going. I was rejected. I got the line "I don't care that the baby's asleep, leave me alone". I was so hurt and I started crying. He then was awake enough to ask "why are you crying?" like I would answer that. He should know. He knows that we've waited days for the opportunity and he's just so blaise about it. What gives?

I have also noticed some other changes in him the last few days. He is quick to want to get away from me - be in other room or go outside even when he knows I'd like to spend time as a family. He's ignoring me when I talk and he's been grumpy with the kids. What's going on?

Don't misunderstand me, I love my husband, I can't imagine my life without him but at the same time, I can't imagine a life where we only get initimate on his terms and then it's wishy washy - should we or shouldn't we? No matter how much I love him and am committed to him, I believe that if this keeps going as it is, I would jump at the first nice (both in mannerism and looks) guy that comes along and makes an offer. I know it's not right but if my husband won't satisfy me and he won't tell me why, why should I suffer? If he has a legit reason than that's another story.

In closing, I do believe that a husband's behavior can force a woman to be unfaithful. If she's not being pleased by him than she has to find someone that will. He can make the argument that she cheated on him but the real issue would be, why did she do it?

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