Potty training your toddler is a wonderful time. Going from baby to "big girl/big boy" is a special for child and parent alike. It can also be stressful. Reading all the books to make sure you "do it right" can bring on instant insanity. Those books, as much as they try to help, can only confuse the issue; too much information. And, of all the information, which is best for your family?
Bu the time I was six months pregnant, we had a child's potty in the bathroom (thanks to a forward thinking friend) I had read every potty training book the library had to offer. I was confused. Do I let my child run around naked from the waist down and put papers on the floor? Do I wait until my child says, "Momma, I'm ready to go potty."? Do I buy the potty training books to read to my toddler and get the videos for her to watch? She wasn't even born yet and I felt like an awful mother. How was I ever going to get it done?
The day she was born, the last thing on my mind was potty training. I was too busy looking her over, nursing her, and telling her all the things I forgot to tell her before she was born. Looking back, however, that was the day her potty training began.
Before leaving the labor and delivery room, I had to use the bathroom. I had to get out of bed by myself and go "potty" all by myself. I handed her to her Daddy and I got up. Without even thinking, I said, "Momma is going potty on the big girl potty all by herself. One day, when you are a big girl, you will go potty on the big girl potty all by yourself, too." Off the the bathroom I went, after a quick kiss on her forehead. The nurse was there to supervise. I did what was necessary and returned to my new baby. "See, Momma went potty all by herself. You can do that, too, someday."
Well, it stuck. Every time I went to the bathroom, I repeated my little speech to her. It seemed so natural, so normal. I told her everything else I was doing, why not this? Polite friends and family members smiled when they heard me do this. Not-so-polite people chuckled or laughed out loud. I didn't care. I talked to my daughter about everything else.
When she could sit up by herself, she went with me. I sat her on her potty, fully dressed, and explained to her what I was doing. When I was finished, I would clap for myself and say, "Good job, Momma. Way to go potty like a big girl. Yeah, Momma!" Sometimes, I would hold her hands and help her clap for me. I was thrilled the first time she clapped for me without any help. Embarrassingly enough, it was the first time she ever clapped her little hands. Yes, I talked to all about washing my hands with soap, rinsing them off, and drying them. I left out no details of the entire potty experience. I also explained the difference in "wee wee" and "pooey." I'm entirely certain, but she may be the first child not yet speaking in complete sentences who knew about bowels, kidneys, and bladders. I even got a book from the library with pictures in it for us to look at and talk about together.
If you laugh now, I won't think you are one of those not-so-polite people. Honestly, I am stifling my own giggles now. As a first-time mom over the age of 35, I was doing the best I could. We are currently saving money for all of her future therapy, in case you are curious. I don't think we have cause her any harm, but better safe than sorry.
As time went by, she would follow me to the bathroom on her not-so-steady fat legs. She would sit on her potty and wait for me. More time went by and she was asking for help taking off her clothes and diaper. "Me, too, Momma. I go potty big girl, too." I would help her undress and she would sit on her potty. Every once in while, during this stage, she would "put her wee wee in the big girl potty" just by chance. We clapped and sang and danced. We had a potty chart, complete with stickers and ribbons. We would write Daddy a note (I wrote, she scribbled) if he wasn't at home.
She was completely "daytime" potty trained when she was 22 months old. What I consider to be "completely potty trained" includes pulling her clothes down, "pat pat patting" herself (family term for wiping), pulling her clothes up and the hand washing procedure. I was shocked. My daughter was potty trained. More shocking, it was all by accident. She is now three and waking up dry about 27 days a month, bedtime and nap time.
My experience with potty training has taught me what I think are the best ways to potty train your toddler. Start talking about it early. Talk about it often. Keep talking about it. Explain the procedures in terms the wee one (or soon-to-be weeing one) can understand. Then, let nature take it's course. Praise, lots of praise. More praise. Keep praising. Praise more. Praise even more. Did I mention praise? Praise is important. Please don't forget the praise. It happens when it happens and not a moment sooner. Just one more thing, don't get stressed out and have fun. Like the song says, "Don't worry, be happy."