A Mother's Dilemma
Austin was what I thought, a fairly normal child. He was a happy baby and never really much of a problem. He was always on the go and up and walking at 9 months. He was extremely smart, and started talking at a very early age. Like a lot of children, he had a lot of ear infections, and like most boys was hard to potty train.
By the time Austin was three, he was already displaying symptoms of ADHD, but I just assumed he was "just being a boy". He could not sit still, was constantly fidgeting, and could never focus on just one thing. But he was only three, so I didn't see what the big deal was.
Pre-K and Kindergarten went well, although he did have very kind and patient teachers. In first grade is when most of the problems began. He still could not sit still and had a lot of trouble concentrating on anything. Forgetfulness was also a major issue, especially when he would forget to bring his homework home every night. During a conference with his teacher, my husband and I were told that Austin needed to "grow up". He was only six at the time!
Second grade went pretty well, but again, he had a great teacher that really paid a lot of attention to him. He made all A's and B's during that year. It was in third grade through the fourth grade (which he is currently in) that the major problems started.
This year he has been sent to the office repeatedly, and always for the same thing. He will not stop talking, he won't pay attention, and he is always moving. The teacher gets irritated because he won't look her in the face when she is talking to him, but most ADHD kids have to be looking around, and it doesn't mean they are not listening. She gets angry because Austin is always fidgeting, or that he doesn't complete all the work that she gives during the day. Although I have talked to her about it and tried to explain to her what it going on, she will not listen and does not want to take any extra time to help him. She just wants to send him to the principles office so that someone else can deal with it. Once she even told him, in front of the whole class, that "If you don't get on medication, you are going to have to go to another school"! My husband and I could not believe our ears! Let's just say that my husband went to the school that afternoon and it wasn't a pleasant time for the staff.
Austin gets conduct marks for his actions, when he can't just stop doing them. Most of the time he doesn't even know why he can't pay attention or can't sit still, so it is just as frustrating to him. When he gets conduct marks, he is not able to go on field trips, and that just discourages him even further. He also has a lot of problems with the subject of reading, since it involves sitting still for long periods of time.
This year he also started having social problems. He is so competitive and loses his temper a lot. His little sister sometimes refuses to play with him because when he gets mad he will shove her or yell at her. There is constant bickering between them. A lot of times he plays by himself, jumping on the trampoline, throwing a ball for hours, or making up stories and acting them out. He is a very creative child.
Some of my family would tell me that if I would spank him when he was acting out, that would solve the problem. Spanking doesn't work when a child has ADHD and is not meaning to act a certain way. They don't realize that this isn't a parenting issue or a child just trying to cause problems.
I researched ADHD for months, and stayed up countless nights trying to figure out what was best for him. We tried everything from charts to herbal medicines. Although I had a sick feeling in my stomach, I finally decided to take Austin to our family Doctor to see what could be done to help him. We had been avoiding medication for a couple of years, I mean, who wants to medicate their baby? What if the rare side effects happen to him? This thought still terrifies his father and me. The Doctor referred us to a trusted psychologist so that Austin could be given the correct dosage and the right medication. They both told me not to worry, that Austin was a great kid, and that everything would work out.
I have been somewhat bitter about how my son was treated in the Lufkin public school system and have found it very hard to forgive the principal and the teachers who mishandled my child. It is heartbreaking to have to watch your child go through what Austin has, although it is gradually getting better. He has finally brought his conduct grade up and kept it there. He is making B's and a couple of C's, whereas before he was failing every class except PE. His goal is to start making all A's, but right now he is pretty proud of himself. I feel a sense of relief knowing that Austin really did have a problem, that I wasn't crazy, I wasn't a terrible parent, that Austin had ADHD.