by Lyna Parker

Created on: April 18, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Her little fingers curled gently around mine as I prayed silently beneath my breath. Dark brown hair framed a chubby little face flushed from fever. I watched as she lie quietly, still as a porcelain doll. Her chest rose and fell as she struggled for every breath. Once again she was a victim of abuse and neglect.

"It's not fair." I whispered into the dimly lit hospital room as I wiped the tears from my eyes.

She was such a blessing; such an angel. I would take her and raise her as my own if they would let me. My mind went to the first time she came to stay with me. She had only been three weeks old. I smiled as I remembered how perfectly she snuggled into the little bed we had fashioned for her out of a laundry basket. She had been so young to suffer with the pneumonia that almost robbed her of her life. I watched helplessly as her little body racked with coughing spells. I remembered holding her her close, praying silently as I sang her to sleep.

That was ten months ago. Now here she was, hospitalized for the sixth time and still fighting pneumonia. I could feel feel myself getting angry as hot tears fell from my eyes. Her parents had been asked so many times not to smoke around her, yet somehow the warnings seemed to flee their minds.

Once again I brushed the tears that seemed to fall of their own accord as I rubbed her little tummy. She squirmed slightly as I hummed gently to her. My mind went back over the months that she lived with us. She was such a sweet little girl. We had all fallen madly in love with her as we watched her grow older. Her chubby little face would brighten with huge, toothless smiles that would make us all laugh out loud. We would send her home to her parents healthy and happy, and within days she would come back to us fevered and ill. Once again I would nurse her back to health, tending to her through the long midnight hours. As I held her in my arms, she began to hold my heart, more and more as the days would pass. This sweet little baby only needed someone to love and care for her. I loved her; I would take care of her. I called the lawyers with a plea for help. I called the social workers and still they would send her home.

The baby stirred gently.

"Shhh... it's alright Little One," I cooed, hoping the sound of my voice would bring her comfort. I couldn't help but smile as she opened her dark almond shaped eyes.

"Mama," she whispered.

I picked her up, loving the way her soft little body snuggled so perfectly against mine. Oh of all the things I have done in this life... I am honored to have had the pleasure of being able to love this little angel.

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