by Cumming

Created on: April 18, 2008

Eating disorders are a huge concept in this world, many people treat their mood with how they eat their food.

Yes, I have heard studies from many sources that eating disorders are triggered by depression and emotionally troubled events, such as rape or death or just being one of "them".

Yes, I have made this connection with myself, I was anorexic starting at a very young age. One thing that made me turn was my feeling for food. I have never been very fond of food, I didn't like the full feeling, and I was always extremely picky disliking almost everything put in front of me. The most changing thing was the terror and drama in my childhood life.

When I was younger, about in third grade I was sexually harassed, which I felt like I had to stay super skin so he would like me. I was afraid if I was too ugly he would beat me because I wasn't good enough. Shortly after my step-mother was diagnosed with cancer. At that point and time by dad had been convinced I was an independent child because he never payed attention. He didn't get the hint.

Now I would be alone all day until my step-mother asked for dinner so I would make dinner for her and my dad thought it was for me too, but i had the opportunity. Not liking to eat and then being responsible for food on my own time, I never had to eat.

I slowly went into anorexia, it was quite easy because I could just make up excuses for not eating around people, and sometimes they made them for me. I had never eaten breakfast in the first place because I didn't have the stomach for it in the morning. At school we had the cafeteria lunches which were horrible so we had a plan to boycott the cafe. It didn't work but me and my friends didn't eat lunch. Then I went home and hid in my room so when I had food with me they thought I was eating.

This changed me for life, I loved the feeling of being skinny and I got used to it. I took comments like skinny or scrawny as compliment even though people meant them as rude remarks. After everything went through my head I just thought eating was useless, I didn't care anymore.

When people are depressed they either comfort themselves with food, or like me don't get hungry and become scared that being in the kitchen will make you fat. I only ate when I had to like holidays or a small snack every few weeks so my tummy would stop growling.

I later moved in with my mom and I found the feeling of food, and it helped that I started my period with her so I would have that increased appetite. With the increase appetite it was only eating the normal three meals a day other than that it was even less but still something. She converted me into and eater, or doctors would say normal person. I hated it, getting used to it was fine. Then I started high school, drama came at me left and right and I felt fat all the time. Whenever something went wrong I would not be hungry. I wanted to get under 100 pounds again like the good times when doctors yelled at me for my extreme under weight figure.

Every time I am depressed and sad, my appetite goes away, and I stop eating again. I constantly get pressured by people to eat, and I get called bulimic because I go to the bathroom a lot. This only made me want to eat less and show them that anorexia pays off. It's so easy for me now I really don't want to have something huge happen now because I can't run away from food it it's already a world away, so what will I do?

Well to answer your question with a straight summarized answer. I believe yes, eating disorders and depression is connected, from personal experiences, friends and doctors. We found the similarities and the triggers.

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