8 of 41

Write now Article Tools

If you want to change your spouse's behavior, change your own. Change #1 should be focusing on your own full plate of faults and forgetting your spouse's. If you don't, be sure your focus on his/her faults will draw attention to your own. And be sure you have plenty of them.

Change your thinking from what your spouse does wrong, to what you do that bugs him or her. You may be amazed. Often, what you see the other person doing - spending too much money, being a slob or a grouch, eating chips by the bag, are the very things you're doing yourself, and simply don't want any more of!

No one has the right, or the ability to change anyone else. In fact, often a distressing behavior becomes more entrenched as it comes under fire. Again, put yourself in your spouse's place. How do you feel when the change efforts (manipulation, control, nagging, criticizing, patronizing, sarcasm, etc.) come your way?

You feel unloved. When you find fault with people, you are basically saying they are not OK, and you don't love them as they are. However, when you don't find fault, just love them and pray for them (sorry if you don't agree, but this WORKS)they will change and so will you!

Of course, I'm talking about missing the trash can with the dental floss, and leaving the soap in the shower floor and putting ketchup on steak, rather than drunken rages and wife beating or things of that nature.

So, back to the ketchup and dental floss. Does that sound silly or what? God has given you your very own person to share life with and to love. Focus on your spouse's good points and your own faults. Mind your own business.

And if you want to really see things start happening, just sit around thinking of ways to bless his/her heart.

Learn more about this author, Bev Parker.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Changing your spouse's behavior?
We want to hear your view. Write now!