by Shawn Forno

Created on: April 17, 2008   Last Updated: April 19, 2008

Do you crave the heat and humidity of the Amazon Rainforest?

Do you yearn for the unchecked animal aggression of an African safari?

Do you long for the babble of a hundred languages?

Do you seek the eclectic melange of a Moroccan bazaar?

Do you only have $2, and one day off for vacation?

Do you hate yourself?

If you answered "yes" to these questions, then congratulations! You are ready to embark on a whirlwind "safari" through one of America's most exciting locations - the New York City Subway System.

For the measly entrance fee of $2, you get unlimited access to a subterranean wonderland filled with musicians, hobos, frantic commuters, dancers, drunks, narcoleptics, zombified employees, screaming babies, boisterous teenagers, just plain angry people, and one of mankind's rarest creatures - you - the subway explorer.

The subway explorer traverses the savage wilds of the subway system in order to observe homo sapiens in this most unusual environment. To say he or she has a particular "goal" is misleading, yet they are not merely aimless drifters. Their existence is a paradox; ethereal yet subsisting in the bowels of the underground.

To become a true subway explorer one must shed all ties to their former life. They must forget the warmth of the sun, the feel of the wind, the sound of the trees. Instead they must embrace the dark in their eyes, the damp on their skin, the screech of the brakes, and the ever-presenting wafting of piss. They must also bring stuff. Lots and lots of stuff.

Like these 10 essentials:

1) A backpack - Obviously a necessity, the backpack is a lifeline in a world of strangers. It carries all that you need and becomes a part of you.

*BONUS: It makes an excellent pillow.

2) A sandwich - Though vendors hawk their wares and goods, an explorer's closest companion is their sandwich. Unless you can talk someone into going with you. Then they would be your closest companion, but you shouldn't let them have a bite of your sandwich because it's hickory smoked turkey with stone ground mustard on roasted focaccia bread, and you don't want to share that, do you?

*BONUS: Did I not mention the stone ground mustard?

3) A book - While this may seem contradictory to the explorer's role as an observer, it is a tool used during the lulls to keep up one's spirits, and a place to record observations in (use the margins). Explorers often opt for one of the "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" collection, because it gives them that extra hint of "creepy" when they want to be

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>