by Jaime Roxann Wright

Created on: April 17, 2008

Memories are all that are left for you to hold in your heart. As life goes on, you forget many inconsequential things that occur, and what remains are things that had an impression or great impact on you. These are the things that make you who you are. Just how far back can you remember the impact of events in your life?

Some studies reveal that cellularly we can remember memories from generations before us. There are also theories that transplant patients begin to have memories that are from their donors. Autism studies show that there is a link between autism and very early childhood memories, as early as 2 months of age, that trigger the condition. Have you ever sat down with a box of book of pictures, and didn't remember what happened that day? Or does every single one trigger an emotion or memory?

My first memory is vague. It occurred when I was barely three. I was sitting on a hobby horse with a cowboy hat on, and my great aunt was with me. I can't even remember her face but I felt here there. I was holding a bird on my finger that she had called over to me. I remember a fight between her and my mom. I believe that this was the last day I ever saw her. I have been told all my life that I was the spitting image of my great aunt Ella Mae. I never looked like anyone else in my family so it was important to me to have this one person to identify with. I was born with very dark brown almost black hair, olive tinged skin, and jet black eyes. My family on my mother's side are all redheads with green or blue eyes. My father is platinum blond with blue eyes. So I looked like "the milkman's baby". However, apparently, I looked just like the strain of Native American genes that my father's mother's side of the family acquired. Ella Mae was described to me as a dominant woman. Well respected, and revered ; she was also feared for the time she lived in she was opinionated and very protective of those she loved. She had one great love in her life. He was an archaeologist. I inherited her collection of rocks and corral that she obtained from her travels with her husband. There was an air of legendary love around the stories of them and I always had a fondness for the field of archeology, and Indiana Jones type men because of this image of my great aunt and her husband. When he died, she became reclusive. She took lovers discreetly but maintained a dowager image in public. This too I also grew up in admiration of. Very Victorian in my mindspace was her behavior.

This memory of a woman that I looked like, but was never able to build a relationship with due to the failings and stubbornness of adult issues has haunted me all my life. It has colored who I am in ways that would take years to decipher. When my daughter was newly born, I had much time on my hands during her naps. I decided to try and do a genealogical search for her to at least see what I could find. After many fruitless efforts, I did find one flooring piece of information. She died 10 years prior on the same day my daughter was born. My daughter despite her diverse heritage from her biological father, is the spitting image of me. In fact, every one dubs her mini-me.

So how far back do memories go? How does the earliest memory one has impact your future? Is that earliest memory pivotal or is it just chance? My earliest memory in a way has defined much about who I am, and given me insights as to the connectivity of the world. My earliest memory at age 3 now at 32 still has an impact. My great aunt, and me...

Learn more about this author, Jaime Roxann Wright.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.