by C F Tinney

Created on: April 17, 2008

I had to write to share some recent disagreements I have had with my, so called, Editor. The book company assured me he is among the best, so called, Editors in the business. I have recently begun to question what "business" he is in.

The following correspondences have been sent to him, in my defense, as of late.

Mr. Editor: I sincerely appreciate you pointing out the proper spelling of "quite" is not "quiet" but "quite." You are raving genius for catching this horrendous error. Just one thing: Do you think the sentence "She was quiet the runner" is by far superior to "She was QUIET the runner" when discussing Florence Griffith Joyner? Regards, Writer

Editor: Once again, you have amazed me with your attention to detail and swift eye for prose. I would agree with you that "New Delhi" as properly spelled should be capitalized to confirm its noble place in India. However, the "new deli" being discussed in the novel's dialog is more of a portal for fresh meat sandwiches than a country. Confused, Writer

Dear Idiot: I have put up with quite (or is that QUIET?!) enough from you already and am beginning to suspect a prank at hand here. Surely you do not expect me to change the title of my book about a love affair in New York from "Love Affair: A Story" to the suggested "New York: An Insiders Guide." Is it at all possible that you are sending me edits from a different department other than fictional literature? I only became suspicious when you asked me to specify "how many stars" I rated the hotel the lovers used in the portion of the book portraying their first encounter. For your information, I use only the best fictitious hotels available, so please consider it one million stars. Angry, Writer

Dear Dumba!*: Thank you for your letter informing me you have forwarded my novel to the correct department, shipping it from your department, "Travel Guides", to a more appropriate area. However, I must again take issue and ask that it be removed from the area you deemed best, "Pornographic Novels", and properly edited by the Fictional Literature area. There is no need to go getting angry at me because you are embarrassed by your obvious oversight while somehow editing 300 pages of a fiction novel, convinced it was the worst travel guide you've ever edited. In My Car and Arriving At Your Door by the Time You Read This, Writer

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