by T.L. Winters

Created on: April 17, 2008   Last Updated: April 18, 2008

There are things people don't know about me. I've had dreams and wishes and desires that no one ever knew. I don't know how they would feel about me. But since I'm dead and I have prepared for the worse (this is probably it)I can let a few things surprise the living. Because of the minimum word count for these articles my obituary will be longer than I would choose, but what the heck...

T.L. Winters died suddenly while orbiting the earth. She had become a successful writer in her later years and was able to afford the luxury of commercial space travel. She will be remembered as the pioneer and benefactor of some of the most fun places to visit on her home planet. She designed and financed the building of the largest Laser Tag facility which was built in the desert near Las Vegas. The facility boasted 6 floors of absolute fun. Three floors above ground and three below sand level. Celebrities are frequently found playing among the regular patrons.

Near the Vegas Strip is the Heaven and Hell Hotel. Winters and her daughter designed the hotel for those patrons that wanted to experience their possible "final destination" before they actually had to. It has become a hot spot for the elite. Paris Hilton frequents the hotel but always stays on the bottom floor. Sanjaya (from American Idol fame) is the featured entertainment at the Hell part of the Hotel.

Winters also designed the 600 mile maze that covers the northern part of the Appalachian Trail. Not for the faint of heart, this maze encompasses a large section of the natural habitat of every wild animal in the area. There are exits every 100 miles so your chances of experiencing a life threatening encounter are pretty good. No weapons are allowed in the maze so humans use their mental capacity and physical skill to survive. The animals use whatever they want. Anyone making it from end to end are rewarded with medical and psychiatric care as well as an all expense paid week at the Heaven and Hell Hotel.

Winters was a great believer in the supernatural and the paranormal. Her final request was to be mummified and put in the case of a large un-locked grandfather clock. When the time was right...she plans on visiting a previously chosen few.

Winters is pre-deceased by her husband Robert. His body is entombed in a large guitar case facing a cardboard audience. The Rolling Stones albums are on eternal play. They are survived by their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren who will all share in the inheritance of the estate. They won't have to worry about the "Death Tax" because T.L. Winters was also responsible for it's obliteration.

In lieu of flowers, please make donations to the St. Jude's world-wide charity fund.
Viewing can only be accomplished with binoculars.

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