by Elisabeth Mcgrath

Created on: April 17, 2008   Last Updated: February 05, 2010

"That was then. This is now" is an effective formula for letting go of painful past experiences.

Sometimes you have to dig deeply into your memory and your heart and your soul to find the source of your unhappiness. You need to unlock each event and bring it to the light of day to be examined critically and honestly. Testimonies and experiences found on the internet can trigger painful recollections which had long been buried. Helpful exercises include:

Put your feelings into words.

Open a blank screen and start writing all you recall. Express all the pain, shame, hatred, injustice and helplessness that past experiences evoke. Save what you have typed so you can return to review, change or edit your feelings as your painful memories subside. This is a very safe way to confront the past because what you write is for your eyes only and not subject to anyone's judgment or criticism but your own.

Confront those demons.

Another valuable tool for exorcising elements of past baggage is to address them directly. Write letters to all and any people who have ever hurt you. Even if they are no longer alive. Place the burden of your pain at the door of those who caused it. Tell them what they did to you, how it felt at the time and how it continues to affect you. This tool is equally valid where feelings of guilt overwhelm and hold you back.

Using the device of an email gives an added sense of reality to this exercise. Regardless of whether the person you are addressing is now deceased or you do not have an email address, leave the address box blank until you have poured out your feelings. At this point, review your thoughts and decide if you want to fill in the address. If you cannot decide, type your own email address and review it in a few days time. By then you may even feel that "Delete" is the most appropriate button to click.

Write Internet articles.

Type out your experiences and submit them as articles in an appropriate category on a publishing site like www.helium.com where you may help or be contacted by people with similar stories.

Thousands of moving and emotional articles have been written about the pain and problems that past experiences produce. The fact that they are there for us to read proves the value and healing power of written expression. If you read through topics that examine life's traumas, you will find stories and testimonies from people who are publicly sharing their grief and heartache, perhaps for the first time in their lives.

Maybe it is time you joined those writers who have found a way to dispatch their painful memories to that big unclaimed-baggage-depot in the sky.

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