by Barbara Walker

Created on: April 17, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

You can have empathy for someone in pain. You can sympathize with them, but unless it happens to you, you can't know how someone's life can be totally affected by chronic pain due to a herniated disc.

At first, I thought I had just pulled a muscle at work. Though I felt like a fool, I reported it to my supervisor. I felt it was something that would go away in a few days and telling my supervisor about it made me look like a complainer. But I reminded myself about all the safety talks and admonishments to all of us to report a hangnail, if it happened at work. Later, I would thank God I had reported it.

After being treated for a muscle strain, with hot packs, cold packs and massage, the pain was no better. It had in fact, been getting worse. I was advised by the industrial medical doctor to see a specialist, as I might have a herniated disc. I poo-pooed the idea that someone in good shape like myself, would have a herniated disc. I wasn't over-weight at all. I was trim, fit, was active and played on a women's softball league. I played three positions, catcher, first and third base. I could bat well. Surely, it was just a pulled muscle, a stubborn pulled muscle.

I went to the specialist, who ordered an MRI. All this time I had been on light duty at work and this doctor continued the light duty. That made me feel like a slacker, as my co-workers had to double up on the heavy lifting that was part of our jobs everyday. I continued with physical therapy three times a week until I could get the MRI done and find out the results. Still, my back hurt.

When the specialist informed me at my appointment that I did, indeed, have a herniated disc in my lower back, I was in denial. He kept mentioning the area, L5-S1. These letters and numbers would soon be the most prominent thought on my mind, almost like a mantra. Repeated over and over again, either in my mind or by a doctor or physical therapist.

I continued on light duty at work, feeling my co-worker's resentment at having to do part of my job. The resentment was so thick, I could have cut it with one of our box knives.

The pain in my lower back continued to increase. It then began to go all the way down my left leg. It became more and more difficult to sit for more than 30 minutes or stand for more than 15 minutes. I felt my body had betrayed me. Hadn't I treated it fairly well? How could it do this to me? I got all sorts of different advice from the doctor, the physical therapist, family members and well-meaning friends.

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